#like sometimes emotionally unavailable and others its distance

[misanthropic-wolf666]

Why do i always seem to fall for unobtainable people?

[ms-snape]

hi!! could i request a young!severus snape (in the maraurders era) where he gets drunk and is literally the oppositte of his usual self? — flirty, confident, a lot more touchy, a total tease ..

(no smut just an awkward severus turning into a flirty douche that makes your face redder then a tomato!)

Title: A Night To Remember

Warnings: a bit of angst, drunk sevvy

Words Count: 4000+

Masterlist

---

It had been a slow evening in the Slytherin common room. The usual murmur of students studying, reading, or gossiping had quieted by the time the moon had risen high in the sky, its silvery glow casting shadows on the stone walls. You sat in your usual spot, a large armchair near the fireplace, watching the flames flicker as you absentmindedly ran your fingers over the edge of a book, the pages untouched.

There was always something about the way Severus Snape acted that left you feeling like you were standing on the edge of a precipice, a foot hovering over a cliff with no way of knowing if you'd fall or fly.

You were dating Severus, though no one really knew. It wasn’t that you were ashamed—more like he was simply… private. Extremely private. And distant. Emotionally unavailable, most of the time. He was the type of person who kept his thoughts locked away, like a vault you couldn’t get into. And that was fine, really. You were used to it.

But lately, the space between you had started to feel wider. The rare moments when he would look at you with something softer in his eyes had become almost nonexistent. The little touches, the accidental brushing of hands in hallways, were reduced to nothing. And though you hadn’t spoken of it, it had been gnawing at you.

You shifted in your chair, eyes flicking to the door, waiting for him to appear. He was late—again.

But this time, when he finally walked through the door, it wasn’t the usual quiet, self-assured Snape you were used to. No, this Snape had a gleam in his eyes, a different kind of fire in his gaze that you couldn't quite place. His usually sharp features were flushed, and his step was slightly unsteady.

"Severus?" you called softly, standing up from your chair. Your heart skipped at the sight of him, at how uncharacteristically… disheveled he looked.

He stopped a few paces from you, blinking slowly as if he were trying to focus. The scent of firewhisky wafted from his robes, and your suspicion deepened. Severus Snape wasn’t the type to drink much—at least not in public, anyway. His reserved nature kept him far away from the rowdy gatherings and parties that other students indulged in.

"Hey," he greeted, his voice rougher than usual, but there was a playful edge to it. His lips curled into something almost like a smirk, but it didn’t feel cruel. In fact, it was… charming?

You tilted your head, trying to suppress the confusion rising in you. "You’ve been drinking," you observed, crossing your arms.

His eyes narrowed in a manner that was almost comical. "Really?" he asked, feigning surprise. "You think so?"

You raised an eyebrow, crossing the room slowly. “What happened? I thought you hated drinking."

"I do," he muttered, swaying a little on his feet. “But sometimes even I need… a break from my usual self."

You could hardly contain your smile. The snark, the biting wit—usually so prominent in Severus—was dulled. What was more striking, however, was that he wasn’t pulling away from you. His usual cold distance seemed to have disappeared, replaced by something warmer, though it was still unmistakably Severus. You saw him take another unsteady step toward you, and you couldn’t help but laugh softly, the sound ringing in the otherwise quiet room.

“What’s so funny?” he asked, sounding genuinely confused. But then, before you could answer, he wobbled and caught himself on the edge of the table next to him, his hand resting there for balance. You stepped forward, instinctively reaching out to steady him.

Snape’s eyes flickered to your touch, then back to your face. His lips quirked in a smile that was almost… mischievous. "You’re so serious all the time," he said, his voice slow and deliberate, as though savoring the words. "Why are you so serious, Y/N?"

You frowned slightly at the question, unsure of how to respond. "I… I don’t know," you said, trying to be honest but also not entirely sure of what he meant. "Maybe because you’re so distant all the time."

Severus tilted his head as if your answer intrigued him. Then, unexpectedly, his hand moved from the table and reached toward your face. You froze, your breath catching as his fingers lightly brushed against your cheek. The touch was so unlike him, so tender, that your heart fluttered in your chest.

“You think I’m distant, huh?” he murmured, his eyes suddenly locking onto yours. “Maybe I’ve just been waiting for the right moment. You don’t always make it easy, Y/N. But… I’m trying.”

Your mind raced. Was this really Severus Snape? This flirty, playful version of him was so different from the man you were used to. There was no biting sarcasm, no dark, brooding intensity. Instead, it was like all the walls he had put up had crumbled in one fell swoop, leaving only… him.

He leaned a little closer, his breath warm against your ear. “But you know, I’m not used to this,” he confessed, his voice a hushed whisper, barely audible. “I’m not good at… well, this.” His fingers, now curled against your shoulder, gently traced the outline of your jaw. “But I think I’m figuring it out.”

You were stunned into silence, blinking at him in disbelief. For the first time in a long while, Severus wasn’t just the aloof, impenetrable figure you’d come to know. No, he was something else—something that made your pulse race and your chest tighten with a mixture of excitement and confusion.

“I—Severus, are you… drunk?” you asked, your voice barely more than a breath.

He smirked, a crooked, almost boyish expression. “Me? Drunk?” He gave a soft laugh, but there was no malice in it—just warmth. “Of course not. I’m perfectly in control.”

You gave him a skeptical look.

“Alright, maybe a little,” he admitted, his voice dropping into something playful, low. “But I do what I want tonight.”

You chuckled despite yourself, shaking your head. “I don’t know if I should trust you when you’re like this.”

Severus’s smirk grew wider. His hand slipped from your shoulder to rest against the back of your neck, his thumb gently rubbing the sensitive skin there. You gasped, his touch sending a shiver down your spine.

“Are you afraid of me, Y/N?” he asked softly, his face dangerously close to yours. There was a teasing note in his voice, but his eyes were filled with something far deeper—something you had never seen before.

“I—I don’t know what to think right now,” you confessed, caught between laughter and something else entirely. "You're acting so… different."

His lips curled up at the corners, his fingers now pressing more insistently against your neck as he leaned in just a little closer. “Good. I like surprising you.”

You swallowed, a lump forming in your throat at how incredibly close he was now. His breath was warm on your skin, his presence overwhelming. You felt the intensity of his gaze, the weight of the silence hanging between you. Then, before you could react, he did something that made your heart stop.

He kissed you.

It wasn’t a soft peck or an innocent brush of lips. No. It was a deep, urgent kiss, full of all the feelings he’d kept hidden for so long. His lips moved against yours with surprising gentleness, as if he were testing the waters, unsure but eager.

You froze for a moment, not sure if this was really happening, if this was the same Severus you knew. But then, instinct took over, and you kissed him back. His hand slid from your neck to the small of your back, pulling you in closer, deepening the kiss.

When he finally pulled away, his chest was heaving with breath, his face flushed from the intensity of the moment. His eyes, wide and almost innocent in their shock, flickered between yours as though he couldn’t believe what had just happened.

“I—I didn’t expect that,” he admitted, running a hand through his dark, disheveled hair.

You could barely suppress a laugh, still dazed from the kiss. “You didn’t expect to kiss me?” you teased, still in shock at how different he was acting. "Then why did you?"

Severus's smirk returned, but there was a softness to it now, a vulnerability that you rarely saw from him. "Because," he said, voice quiet but confident, "I’ve been wanting to for a long time.”

Your heart skipped in your chest at his words, the weight of them hanging in the air like something both fragile and precious.

“And now I’m not going to stop.” His voice was teasing again, but there was a sincerity in his eyes that you hadn’t expected to see tonight.

You smiled, finally feeling the distance between you both begin to shrink. “You’re incredible when you're like this,” you whispered, your hand reaching for his. “But I think you’ve had enough firewhiskey"

Severus gave you a half-hearted glare, clearly unbothered. "You always ruin the fun, Y/N," he muttered, though his smile was still there.

You leaned into him, your foreheads touching. “I think you’ve had more than enough fun for one night, Severus.”

With that, you both sank into the softness of the armchair, his arm draped over your shoulders as he let out a deep sigh, content in a way you had never seen him before.

And for the first time in ages, you didn’t feel the weight of his distance. Instead, you felt his warmth, his heart—a side of him you didn’t know he was capable of showing. The walls had come down, and for the first time, you could see Severus Snape for who he truly was.

And somehow, that was enough.

--

The early morning light filtered through the high, narrow windows of the Slytherin common room, casting long shadows across the stone floors. You awoke to a feeling of warmth, but it wasn’t the warmth of the sunlight creeping in—it was the sensation of something solid beside you, the familiar weight of Severus Snape’s presence.

You blinked, still groggy, trying to piece together what had happened. The night before was a blur, but you remembered enough: the firewhisky, the laughter, the kiss.

You glanced over at Severus, who was still sleeping beside you on the armchair, his head resting against the back, his face turned toward you. His dark hair fell across his forehead in a messy, unruly fashion—he looked almost boyish in his sleep, completely unlike the Snape you usually saw. There was a sense of vulnerability in his stillness, a quiet peace that you had never witnessed before.

You sat up slowly, careful not to disturb him. The events of the night before began to replay in your mind. The way he’d been so different, so open, so… tender. You could still feel the echo of his kiss on your lips, the warmth of his touch on your skin. The walls he’d built for years had come crashing down, revealing a side of him that you hadn’t even known existed.

But now that he was sober, would things change?

You hesitated for a moment, your stomach tightening at the thought of what might happen once he woke up and remembered. The Severus you knew didn’t let his guard down. He didn’t show emotion—especially not affection. It had always been an unspoken rule between you two that what existed between you was… complicated. You were never sure if he actually cared for you, or if he just needed someone to fill the space he left in his own heart.

But last night… last night was different.

You reached out and gently touched his shoulder, hesitant to wake him but unable to resist. He stirred slightly, letting out a soft grunt as his eyes fluttered open. They blinked in confusion at first, and then the haze of the night before seemed to clear, leaving only the cold, calculating Severus Snape you were more familiar with.

He sat up slowly, his hand instinctively reaching for the back of his head, smoothing down his disheveled hair. You watched him, heart in your throat, as his eyes flicked to you. There was a brief moment of silence—awkward, tense.

“Morning,” you said, your voice a little more hesitant than you’d intended. “How are you feeling?”

Severus didn’t answer immediately. He rubbed his temples, groaning softly as if trying to shake off the remnants of the firewhisky. Then he turned to face you fully, his gaze sharp, guarded.

“What happened last night?” he asked, his voice low and unsteady.

The bluntness of his question took you by surprise. You had expected some form of awkwardness, but this—this felt like something entirely different, like he was trying to distance himself from whatever had happened.

You bit your lip, searching for the right words. “You were... drunk and we… kissed,” you said softly, not daring to meet his eyes.

Severus raised an eyebrow, a flash of disbelief flickering in his expression. “Kissed?” He ran a hand through his hair again, clearly still processing the information. “I… don’t remember that.”

You nodded, feeling a pang of unease in your chest. "Yeah, well, you were drunk."

He frowned. "I don’t drink. I… I’m not used to that."

The words came out with a surprising mix of defensiveness and vulnerability. Severus wasn’t one to admit his weaknesses—his pride always kept him on the edge of everything, refusing to let anyone see him falter. You could sense his discomfort, even if he tried to mask it with his usual cool demeanor.

You decided to press a little more, not wanting him to slip back into his wall of indifference. “It was… nice, though. You were different. You were, uh, affectionate.”

His gaze faltered for a moment, and you saw a flicker of something in his dark eyes—something akin to regret, perhaps, or fear. He turned away, rubbing the back of his neck, clearly uncomfortable. “I wasn’t myself last night. You know how it is… alcohol makes people act out of character.”

There it was again. The familiar defensiveness. Severus was shutting down, retreating into the fortress he had built around himself. You felt a pang in your chest as you watched him struggle with the remnants of his drunken vulnerability. You had seen the cracks in his armor, but now that they were being filled with cold stone once again, you didn’t know how to reach him.

“You don’t have to act like it didn’t happen,” you said, your voice steady but soft. “I’m not going to hold it against you.”

Severus let out a sharp exhale, glancing back at you with a look that was almost… apologetic. It was a fleeting expression, gone before you could truly process it. “You shouldn’t take me seriously when I’m drunk. It was… a lapse in judgment.”

A lapse in judgment.

The words stung more than you expected. You had hoped for something—anything—to acknowledge the sincerity you had seen in him, even if only for a moment. But instead, you were faced with his refusal to acknowledge what had happened. The distance between you felt like it had stretched even further in the light of day.

“I don’t think it was a lapse in judgment,” you replied, your voice tinged with frustration. “Maybe you just don’t know how to be honest with yourself.”

Severus’s eyes hardened, and you saw the familiar walls rising once again, stone by stone. He shifted in his seat, his arms crossing tightly over his chest. “I don’t need your lectures, Y/N.”

You took a deep breath, trying to steady the rush of emotions threatening to spill over. You had never been good at hiding your feelings, especially when it came to Severus. And right now, you were feeling a mixture of confusion, disappointment, and—if you were being honest—hurt.

“I’m not lecturing you,” you said quietly, standing up from your seat. “I just thought that maybe… just maybe… you didn’t want to push me away anymore.”

Severus didn’t respond right away. He didn’t have to. His silence spoke volumes.

You turned away, heading toward the exit of the common room. The heavy feeling in your chest only grew stronger with every step. You didn’t know what you were expecting from Severus, but you certainly hadn’t anticipated this cold rejection. You thought he’d at least acknowledge what had happened between you—the connection you’d shared, however brief.

As your hand rested on the doorknob, you paused, glancing over your shoulder. Severus hadn’t moved, but his gaze was fixed on you. He was watching you with a strange mixture of longing and frustration, as though he didn’t quite know how to deal with the situation, how to deal with you.

“Y/N,” he said, his voice quieter than before, and there was something more in it—regret, maybe? “I didn’t mean…”

But before he could finish, you opened the door, stepping into the dimly lit corridor outside. You didn’t want to hear it. Not yet.

You needed space. You needed time to sort out the mess of feelings swirling inside you.

The heavy door clicked shut behind you with a soft finality, and you leaned against the stone wall for a moment, pressing your hand to your forehead. You felt the sting of tears in your eyes, but you refused to let them fall. Not here. Not now.

Severus Snape had always been difficult. Distant. But last night, for a brief moment, you had seen him—truly seen him. And now, in the light of day, it felt like it was slipping through your fingers.

Maybe you were just fooling yourself.

--

It had been days since the uncomfortable confrontation in the dungeon hall, and with every passing moment, you found yourself more certain of two things: Severus Snape was as impossible to understand as ever, and you were a fool to think you could make him change.

But that didn’t stop the ache in your chest, nor did it stop the steady pull of curiosity that kept drawing your eyes toward him whenever he passed in the halls. Severus was not a man you could predict. He wasn’t even a man you could know—at least, not in the way you wanted to.

The walls he’d built around himself were high and thick, and no matter how many cracks you thought you saw in them, they always closed up again. The kiss from that night seemed more like a fleeting dream than a reality—if you dared think about it at all.

And yet, here you were, standing outside the entrance to the Slytherin common room, feeling every ounce of uncertainty bubble up in your stomach. You had promised yourself that you wouldn’t seek him out again. That you’d let things settle and maybe, just maybe, find some semblance of peace. But the silence between you two had stretched long enough that it was starting to hurt.

You wanted closure—something to understand about him, something to break the wall of cold indifference he’d thrown up after that night.

A few quick steps brought you to the heavy iron door, and you hesitated for just a moment before entering. The familiar scent of damp stone and earth filled your nose as you made your way toward the shadowed corner of the common room where you knew he’d likely be, hunched over some book, as he often was.

The common room was nearly empty. A few first years sat in a cluster near the fireplace, whispering and giggling, but there was no sign of Severus. Maybe he wasn’t there after all. Your heart sank. Maybe you were too late.

But as you turned to leave, a voice from the shadows stopped you.

"Looking for someone?"

You froze, feeling the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end. His voice—the same smooth, dark tone that always sent a shiver down your spine—was laced with that familiar coolness, but you could swear there was something else in it too. A weariness? A trace of something unspoken?

You didn’t turn around immediately. Instead, you stood there for a moment, gathering your thoughts. "I was," you said softly, turning slowly. "I thought… maybe we should talk."

Severus didn’t answer right away. He was seated in a darkened alcove at the far end of the room, his legs stretched out in front of him, his fingers wrapped around a heavy textbook. The faintest light from the fireplace caught the edge of his profile, casting sharp shadows across his face. For a brief moment, you saw the boy he’d once been, hidden behind the cold facade of the man he’d become.

His eyes flicked to you, and then back to the book in his lap. “We have nothing to talk about,” he said, though there was a hesitance in his tone that made you pause.

You folded your arms across your chest, steeling yourself. "I don’t believe that."

He raised an eyebrow at you, clearly not used to your persistence. “And what, pray tell, do you believe?” he asked, his voice slightly mocking, but not entirely unamused.

You stepped closer, your voice steady, though there was an underlying edge to it. "I believe you’re hiding something. Hiding yourself."

Severus's gaze narrowed at the words, and for a moment, you thought he might say something sharp—something cutting, something that would send you away. But instead, he sighed heavily, almost imperceptibly, as though the weight of your words was starting to settle on him. He closed the book in his lap with an audible thud and stood slowly, eyes fixed on you.

“I’ve already said everything there is to say, Y/N. I’m not someone you can fix—I don’t want to be someone you think you can ‘fix.’”

You swallowed hard. He was back to his defensive, distant self again. "I’m not trying to fix you," you said quietly. "I just… I don’t understand. You were different that night. You let me in—but now, it’s like none of it happened."

He scoffed, a bitter laugh escaping his lips. "Of course you’d think that. You think it was something more than what it was. I don’t need your pity, Y/N. I don’t need—" He stopped himself, his jaw tightening. "I didn’t mean for it to happen. It was a lapse of judgment."

You felt the sting of his words like a slap to your face, and something deep inside of you recoiled. “Stop saying that,” you said, your voice more insistent. “It wasn’t a lapse of judgment. I know it wasn’t.”

Severus’s eyes flashed dangerously. "And how would you know?" His voice dropped, becoming dangerously low. "You don’t know anything about me. You never have."

The anger in his words cut through you like a knife. But beneath the anger, you could hear something else. Fear. It was there, buried deep in the layers of his voice—fear of being known, of being seen for what he truly was.

“Maybe I don’t know everything,” you said, your voice softer now, more careful, "but I know you, Severus. I know what I saw. And I’m not going to pretend it didn’t happen."

He took a step toward you, closing the space between you both. His eyes bore into yours, a flicker of something darker in them, but also something more tender, almost imperceptible, just beneath the surface. "You should forget it," he said, his words quiet but forceful. "It doesn’t matter. I’m not the type of person you think I am. I don’t want your pity or your sympathy. I don’t—"

You didn’t let him finish. Without thinking, you reached out and placed your hand on his arm. His body tensed, and he drew in a sharp breath, but you didn’t pull away.

"I don’t pity you, Severus," you said firmly, your hand remaining where it was. "I never have."

His gaze flickered down to your hand on his arm, and for a brief second, you thought he might push you away. But he didn’t. Instead, he took another breath and let it out slowly, his expression unreadable.

"You don’t understand," he muttered. "I’ve been alone for so long. And I’ve learned not to need anyone."

"I’m not asking you to need me," you whispered. "I’m asking you to stop pushing me away. I’m here… if you’d let me be."

For a long moment, there was no answer. Severus stood still, almost like a statue, his eyes fixed on the place where your hand still rested on his arm. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, he let out a long, almost imperceptible sigh.

“I don’t know how to do this,” he said softly, his voice raw in a way you hadn’t expected. "I don’t know how to let someone in… and I don’t know if I ever will."

And in that moment, you realized something. This wasn’t about him rejecting you, or pushing you away. It wasn’t about him being cruel or distant. It was about him being scared. Scared of getting close to anyone. Scared of letting someone see the cracks in the armor he’d built so carefully around himself.

You withdrew your hand slowly, but you didn’t turn away. You stood there, just… present, watching him.

“I don’t expect you to change, Severus,” you said quietly. “I just… I just don’t want you to be alone.”

There was a long silence. Finally, Severus looked at you, his dark eyes flickering with something unreadable.

"Maybe one day," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "Maybe."

And with that, he turned away, retreating into the shadows of the common room, leaving you standing there with the echo of his words lingering in the space between you.

[expressionismeh]

Been thinking about when its time to walk away.

Been staying with Mud but he randomly didn’t let me know he wouldn’t be home at all that night at like 11pm like bruh. The past several days have been chill and I’ve been staying over so you would think id get a little heads up especially when we were gonna link and grab a drink too. Lame behavior but I left my toothbrush and toothpaste at his crib and I don’t wanna buy more. Preferably I spend the night tonight and hit the road in the morning so I don’t have to sleep in my car cause its gonna rain all night tonight. I don’t wanna hit the road tonight but I might have to cause he’s being unreliable and unavailable.

He is extremely hot and I love his personality but he seems to search for reasons why I shouldn’t like him especially when I express that I do like him. I stand by how I feel then he adds distance but like bro stop I need somewhere to stay. Whatever I’m gonna leave town soon and tell him how I feel about all this when I see him for my tooth brush. That is if he even lets me get that geez

I also contemplate if he doesn’t change at all and still wants to link when he’s in my town or wants to fuck later. Would I do it? I think I would cause he’s seriously so sexy but why do I think that if he acts like this. I want to think I can separate these feelings and that if I would get into anything serious which I highly doubt would ever happen but it’s the concept. I think id be able to not go that far but is it disrespectful to myself to still interact with someone who acts like this. Probably not a great idea and the sex isn’t even the best but he does have a great dick, I love his balls so much, and I like the way we make out.

I think sometimes I see people for who they want to be and what I want them to be and not for who they are in the moment. I know I’m an optimist but it’s kind of annoying. I do recognize where his is at rn but id be willing to see it out in the future and just see where he’s at but I have no expectations for that.

Semi conclusion I would fuck him tonight just for fun and id let him stay at mine if he were in town but I can also see that he isn’t emotionally available so I have to take that into account and not expect that from him. We can have fun but if he starts to say things negative about him to see how I react I will let him know thats not okay. He knows that I like him for who he is I just don’t appreciate when he makes it out that he is not a good person to be around and that I shouldn’t like him. I cant change his insecurity so if he wants to know why I like him he can ask instead of trying to scare me away or something.

Conclusion I need to find out what I’m looking for within a connection and voice that to the other person. Settle my boundaries with myself about the connection and share them and continue to uphold them. Finally respect myself enough and listen to myself to know when it’s time to move on.

[ak8shi]

FWB HQ Boys: In which you beat the player at his own game!

warnings: Time skip spoilers, mentions of sex(all characters are 18+), stupid people in love

a/n: I love one(1) libra man!! I love Atsumu’s character and the way he’s developed in hq and I think that this is a very probable way in which he finds love !! thank you all so much for loving the first installment so much <3 I-I went a little overboard with this one but ,, xoxo Chlo

━Miya Atsumu

Let’s start with a little background; I think we can all agree Atsumu is and always has been popular with the ladies

…But that doesn’t necessarily mean the ladies are popular with him LMAO

He’s truly the emotionally unavailable heartbreaker and he built himself quite a reputation without even knowing it

This dude doesn’t even really fuck around with girls, maybe a few meaningless flings his senior year but besides that, he only has eyes for one lady and her name begins with the letter V and ends with ball

LET’S GO

So you’ve known Atsumu for years unfortunately,,, and you surely know about how he treats the girls that approach him with confessions and boxes of chocolates

You don’t approve of it at all, but your family is practically family with the Miya’s and you’ve literally spent every major holiday with them since you can remember

You: Atsumu would it kill you to show some respect towards these women

Atsumu: If she breathes, she’s a thot

….smh… a fucking mess someone please put him in his place

However your mom was always happy that you could be around the twins since you were an only child, and she loved the idea of you having two brothers who would protect you from the evils of college men little did she know,,

You hate to admit it and we hate to see it, but you started to develop a crush on him your freshman year of high school.. you suppose it was because you spent so much time with him and you saw parts of him that a lot of people didn’t get to see I mean you also saw him with his jersey on and off pretty often how could you resist

For example, every Halloween you had a sleep-over tradition where you watched horror films after trick-or-treating and Atsumu was scared SHITLESS every year, I’m talking ripping your favorite blanket off you and burying his face in it to block out the movie, he would threaten you and Osamu about telling people at school about it

Him, a 17 year old teen standing in your doorway at 3:40 am: c-can I sleep on yer floor I LOVE HIM SKAKAKAJSW

You, filming him and sending it to Suna on snap: sure Atsumu <3

You found yourself entranced when he automatically gave you his school cardigan on the walks home from school when it was cold or raining, and completely enraptured by his cute little accent

Atsumu: did ya know yer a fuckin’ idiot bimbo stupid butt crack for not bringin’ yer jacket

Atsumu: yer lucky I’m a gentleman

You: ...

Osamu: god…..

It was naïve to think he would ever reciprocate feelings especially with his entire life being his volleyball career, and you convinced yourself it was a tiny high school crush and eventually you managed to repress it

Too much was on the line; you didn’t want to make both of your families awkward, and you needed to focus on your studies as one of the top students at Inarizaki yes ma’am

Besides you loved him like family right ???

RIGHT ???

The twins are a year older than you, and Atsumu had just signed to play professionally for MSBY!!

You at his official signing: wow, looks like you don’t have to resort to living on the streets after all

Him: yeah ❤️

You kind of forgot about how you felt about him since you weren’t seeing either of the twins consistently anymore with how busy both of you were; you stayed in contact, but nothing really serious

It was weird because you were still in high school while the boys were experiencing college and doing their own thing… you drifted apart honestly and you felt a bit awkward talking to them sometimes, you felt like you were bothering them Atsumu would probably tease you and say that you were

Another year passed and you were heading to college! You are living your best life, meeting new people, and then you got the text from your mom that you were doing Thanksgiving with the Miya’s,, you weren’t sure if that meant you would be seeing both twins but something about the possibility of seeing Atsumu again made something stir in your chest

Fall break hit and you found out both the twins and you were back at home since Atsumu also had a rare break from training and his regular professional season

You were helping Osamu out at his shop, since it was his first time dealing with the overflow of Thanksgiving season as a new business owner

You’re helping close the shop, when you hear the door jingle; you turn to say a polite “sorry we’re closed for the day,” but you’re met with what seems like a new and improved and muscular Atsumu OH NO

He looks amazing and so much older than you remember??? And he’s thinking the same thing about you!!! Like wow she’s changed a lot since she started college, I’ve missed a lot apparently ??

You immediately fall into his arms, inhaling his familiar scent, Osamu rolling his eyes at the two of you and telling you to get lost before he yaks

You leave the shop with Atsumu, inviting him to your house; as you enter, you catch your mom leaving to pick up some last-minute groceries for the Thanksgiving meal

She’s acts way happier to see Atsumu than she acted when you came home LMAO later she doesn’t shut up about how handsome and manly he’s become, but you just pull him away to your room and lock your door behind you

He goes to sit on your flower-patterned comforter from your childhood, newly washed thanks to your mother

Atsumu: so…. what’s up with you..?

You can’t control the churning of your stomach all of a sudden; you can’t remember him ever looking at you this way, like he’s looking at a woman

The feelings come rushing back, and literally all you can think about is kissing him

You lean back on your dresser in front of the bed, and a wave of need to express yourself washes over you,

“Atsumu, I missed you.”

You don’t even know what’s happening until you’re trapped in between Atsumu and the door, his mouth gently pressed against yours, his warm hands caressing your hips

He asks if this is okay, and all you can do is moan back a yes in response

Let’s just say your mom might need to clean your comforter again lmaoo

It’s complicated and you’re both kinda confused after… like no one admitted that they had feelings for the other and its not like either of you can just disappear from the other’s life like a random hook-up

BUT BOTH OF YOU ARE TOO STUPID AND STUBBORN TO REALIZE YOU LIKE EACH OTHER AND WANT A RELATIONSHIP I-

Like he’s literally cuddling you and kissing you and asking you about college in your childhood bedroom naked what

And it ISN’T uncomfortable at all

It feels so right to be in his arms, and you’re in disbelief about what happened??? What even like how have you gone all this time without doing anything honestly

You suddenly hear your dad pull into the garage, and you’re both up and putting your clothes on as fast as possible

It’s embarrassing when you look back on it, how long the hook-ups went on, but this was a common occurrence whenever the two of you were home

It was basically like you were dating and doing long-distance without the label

IT WENT ON FOR ALMOST A YEAR 🤡

Osamu during next year’s Thanksgiving meal: I think we should go around the table and say what we’re thankful for, I’ll go first. I’m thankful that two people at this table are getting laid despite the fact that I’m not 😊

Your parents:

Atsumu, in many ways, is oblivious to what his feelings mean after not really being in any real relationships and blocking out all the girls during high school,

He would find himself texting you after each of his matches, hoping you had watched him and his heart would flutter when you complimented him on his sets

Atsumu on the phone with you: yeah I’m just chillin’ with the boys rn 😏

Sakusa: get the fuck off my bed and get off the phone with your girlfriend so I can sleep

Atsumu: she’s not my girlfr-

Sakusa, talking loud enough for you to hear: I literally don’t care but don’t you have her picture saved as your lockscreen?

He tried to hook-up with someone when he was away playing a tournament in the summer, but it wasn’t the same and it was only good if he imagined it was you

He never did it again and before coming home for Christmas, he called Osamu to finally ask him what to do

Osamu: about time you meathead

Osamu literally spells it out to this man; he has been and is in love with you and he needs to do something about it asap before someone else snatched you away

Atsumu: why didn’t ya just say somethin’ ? Ya know I’m not good at these typa things !

I can’t he’s something else

So it’s Christmas, and he asks if you would want to go see the town square’s Christmas lights with him

Of course you say yes, you’re just really excited to finally see him after so long !!

Atsumu with rosy cheeks ugh spare me

He picks you up and greets you with a kiss to your temple, and he has a little gift baggie with him; he hands it to you to open and you pull out his old school cardigan

“I-I thought maybe you would want it since ya always stole it from me in high school, and since I’m half-way ‘round the world most of the time”

It smells just like him, you thank him with a kiss to his cheek and you tuck it away in your bedroom before leaving hand-in hand to see the colorful lights dazzling in the night sky

You talked to Osamu about your relationship with his brother and you want Atsumu to make a move honestly; you want to be sure he wants this since you’ve literally liked him since high school

You’re not sure what you are expecting, but when Atsumu has you in his arms, your back against his chest and his chin on your shoulder as you watch the Christmas carolers, you don’t expect him to whisper into your ear,

“hey, will ya be my girl?”

You turn around to give him a surprised look, his hand bringing yours to his mouth to plant a soft kiss on your knuckles this is his favorite place to kiss fight me

After getting over your dream-like shock, you say yes and pull him into a kiss

I’m crying he tells you afterwards that you were his girl since the first time he met you, we’ll let him have this one because did he really know until like a week ago? no

Whew, all of your friends and family let out a relieved sigh when they hear the news LMAO

Suna, hearing about Atsumu finally making it official: thank god I was about to start blackmailing him with those Halloween videos

[dumblemonchickenwing]

Star vs the FOE but its a situation comedy AU like Spongebob

All creatures live in harmony (sort of), mainly mewmans and monsters live together. The issues between mewmans and monsters and magical creatures could be portrayed or developed in some of the sketches (episodes?)

The humor is mainly situational and displays relatable real life situations, or humor is connected to certain creatures’ abilities or weaknesses in certain environments (kappas are okay underwater whereas land creatures are not; or some are coldblooded some are warm blooded etc)

Maybe character development in some sketches?

Maybe portrayal of how humans would struggle living with monsters, mewmans and magical creatures

The concept of magic could either be developed and explained in detail or just put in the background (i.e. “everyone acnowledges magic and is so used to it they dont pay attention or take it for granted” / “horses fly because of magic and there is not questioning or abusing it” )

A bit of romantic comedy mixed into it (Star and Marco figuring out their feelings and causing trouble in the process in the most ridiculous and funniest ways possible? and not only them but also married couples; their friends etc.)

Some characters who didnt get to show their personality fully can have their emotions and personality portrayed in many ways in this AU setting because its an ordinary and peaceful setting (no war, or extreme magical situations, so the characters can show their personality in different way or have the chance to reflect on themselves more; Animosity between some characters is interpersonal rather than caused by a disastrous tragedy; more characters can interact with each other)

Toffee has no war to fight and has no interest in destroying magic because he lives ordinarily - he works somewhere and probably works for Ludo and him dealing with some others’ incompetence could be a good comedy fuel. Also there could be potential for adding some depth to him as , not a villain, but as a person (monster?). Him being a septarian and living much much longer than most creatures could be seen as a part of his personal problems in this au setting (he cant connect to others because he is simply older or bc those he gets attached to are no longer around so he distances from people, but he needs to learn to connect to them bc becoming emotionally unavailable is no good). His flaws like arrogance could be played out too and he could learn to be better than that

The shipping issue with Toffee can be evened out in this AU too?- Toffee hasnt killed anyone, and maybe he and others are just rivals or had bitter interactions in past and he feels resentful but keeps his cool. Toffee dated Eclipsa when they were really young and problematic teenagers, and when Eclipsa was figuring out love, so their relationship didnt work out bc they were too green and impulsive but that left a bitter mark on him (septarians are resentful); Moon met Toffee sometime when they were already adults and they were rivals in something and grew distrustful toward each other, or maybe they hated each other ever since a misuderstanding. All the negative relationships with Toffee were formed as a result of interpersonal interactions without any killing or racism. Toffee tends to keep calm but he is also very passive aggressive and doesnt let the chance to mock Moon or Eclipsa slip; but maybe overtime they work it out and become on better terms. Maybe Toffee’s resentful nature could be addressed in this au and he could acknowledge and work on it

Meteora’s experiences and life could be portrayed more, and her relationship with Eclipsa and Globgore . Or a storyline that follows the canon Universe, where she was taken into another family and found out who her real parents were. Meteora then learns to live in her real parents’ home and figure things out, as an adult ?

[dearmrsawyer]

well IT WAS A YEAR. it was also emotionally two weeks and five years? lol. its been a lot, but there were some real positives from this year that i wanna reflect on just because! they’re nice to think about!!

i’d love to know if any of you have any positive things from your year that you’d like to reflect on. accepting asks where we can celebrate your little wins too :)

in general i’m just quite proud of myself for how i’ve managed the library this year, given that its just me. its been hard feeling more disconnected from our students, and also trying to provide them with support that can reach across the void created by distance learning. it wasn’t 100% successful all the time! but it can’t be, and i never aimed for that. i just did everything that i felt i could reasonably do as a single individual, and i think i did my best! i spent a lot of this year driving out to post books to our students, or meeting them at convenient locations to do book swaps, and i’ve spent a lot of time coaching academics through online systems over zoom so that they could effectively teach their subjects, and i’ve spent a lot of nights and weekends prepping materials that needed to be made available to students ahead of class, because our academic staff weren’t able to finish them while i was still on the clock (i’m def not trying to @ our academics here! they’ve been delivering material late all year bc of how much extra work they’ve had to take on too! its just the roll on effect bc i’m the last link in the chain). i’ve felt a huge sense of camaraderie with many of my colleagues this year, and am grateful i had them to make this work year more manageable. but i know i’ve been doing a lot of hidden work and i think i did well :)

oh man i loved turning off my wake up alarm in march and never turning it on again!!!! I think i can count the number of times i’ve had to use my alarm on one hand, and they were mostly dr appointments. it feels so comfortable to wake up when my body decides, whether its 6am or after i should already be working LOL. there have definitely been ebbs and flows to how well i’ve slept throughout the year, sometimes i know exactly what’s affecting my sleep and sometimes i have no idea, but regardless, the absence of an impending alarm has been such a nice way to compensate for.. everything else lol

i started growing vegetables!!!!!! I spent a week in March digging out a patch of my yard, and then the next month or two growing seedlings, and i successfully grew snow peas, silverbeet, beetroot and lettuce :D i also added dill to my herb garden, and successfully propagated thyme and lemongrass! i did attempt a few other vegetables that didn’t pan out, mostly because snails kept eating my seedlings jkjdgkj but it was so exciting to successfully grow something that i could then EAT! and i’ve also been able to figure out which vegetables i consider more convenient to grow, for example buying leafy greens can be super inconvenient bc i find its often impossible to use them all before they go bad. they sell greens in such ridiculously large bunches! but growing them myself, i can go out and pick however many leaves i want, and the rest won’t go bad because they’re still on the plant! i also started to stagger how many seeds i wanted to grow which meant they weren’t all maturing at the same time, and i didn’t need to use them all at the same time. 

Supernatural finished this year which was NOT a highlight 😭 but it was originally scheduled to finish in May, and i was given the gift of 6 whole extra months to live with this show as a work in progress. as much as i still wasn’t ready to say goodbye in November (would i have ever been ready), i was given so much unexpected extra time to appreciate being IN it while it was still going. i spent so much of this year reflecting on how big a part of my life this show has been, and how much its given me and shaped me. from the ages of 14 to 29 i was able to live with this show as a close friend, and i’ve never taken that for granted, but i am so thankful for the extra time i was given to reflect and appreciate it even more deeply. also supplementary highlight is how much that ending meant to me <3 the world can think whatever it wants but i was on that journey for 15 years, i was there for every episode, never falling behind or taking a break, and that ending honoured the story i watched, and i am very grateful that the pain of it ending was cushioned by the sense of peace and fulfilment that ending gave me. 

i finally found hair products that WORK!!!!! i’ve had the same hair routine for like a decade (basically sans products) and i thought i should use this extended period of time where i exist unobserved to experiment. i’ve never really bought hair products for myself, i’ve always inherited them from my mum bc she always had a surplus of products she’s collected over the years. our hair couldn’t be more different so i’ve never experienced a product that was particularly effective LOL. i have v dry hair that’s naturally curly/wavy but extremely frizzy, and i have soo much of it!! so many hairs on my head! my mission was to find a way to let it dry naturally without all that frizz popping up, and without having to dry it in two big twists. the only products directed at curly hair that i’ve ever been aware of is mousse, which used to give people that crunchy look that i can’t staaaaaand but i’ve spent a few months buying quite a lot of products and testing them out one after another, and i’ve found a couple that i absolutely LOVE!! this is big for me bc i always structured my week around when i wash my hair (the day of and day after i’m unavailable lol). i’ll still have to structure my time around it somewhat bc it takes so so long to dry, but its going to be less of a drama if i have to do things when its not completely dry yet, and also i just feel like i’m finally getting to let my hair do its own thing without it stabbing me in the back 😂

i think that human connection has probably been more important this year than ever before, and i’ve often felt like maintaining connections requires energy i just haven’t had for a lot of this year. but i also feel like i have been very connected? i feel like i put in the work. my best friend and i shared a few phone calls this year even though neither of us have ever really been big on phone calls (neither of us have ever talked with people on the phone much in our lives lol). i’ve skyped with my Norwegian friend Ellen almost every month this year!! my friend Bel and i started exchanging sporadic voice messages again, which i’ve just loved. i’ve video chatted with Steph even though it was a scary new venture! and it was so amazing! i do feel like i’ve had less interaction with people on my dash this year, but i feel like working from home has changed the ebbs and flows of my energy throughout the day sooo much, and i just haven’t been online as much when other people are, but i’ve spent a lot of time connecting with people over whatsapp! when it comes to family, being around my grandparents was really really stressful for the first half of the year, but as the situation in Australia eased we relaxed enough that we were comfortable to spend time with them without our masks (plus we weren’t seeing anyone else lol). and i was able to make myself available to them more often while working from home, since i live only a minute away! we stopped having our big family lunches until September, and when we were finally able to get back together we enjoyed each other’s company so much. so while i haven’t been face to face with people on a daily basis, i don’t think i’m any less connected to the people that matter than i was a year ago.

[ariparri]

MC Patronus

I was tagged by @carewyncromwell on a post for MC patronuses! I, sadly, don't really talk about most of my characters because I'm hyperfixacted on mostly one character 😅

I'll only do this for my Hogwarts Legacy and Hogwarts Mystery MCs. Anyways, let's get to it!

I can't find the original docs I made for my MCs' patronus so majority of this was a copy paste from the site I use to figure out their patronus.

What's My Spirit Animal?

Image Source

McQuaid/Mac Uaid

I mentioned in the Mac Uaid family crest that the wolf is part of the emblem and how every McQuaid's patronus is a wolf.

As a spirit animal, the wolf comes to support and teach us about matters of personal power, balance, self-control, and our animal instincts.

Wolves are misunderstood by many to be aggressive, vicious animals who attack with no provocation. Nothing could be further from the truth.

In fact, wolves go out of their way to avoid fights. However, when they want to be heard, when they want to stave off or deter an attacker, they will stand their ground.

Wolves are incredible examples of standing in the seat of your own power. They let predators know that they can fight to the death and are prepared to do so but they rarely initiate combat.

The wolf sometimes appears when we face challenges for which we feel less than prepared. The wolf reminds you that you have all the tools in your spiritual treasure chest to handle this effectively.

For seekers who feel afraid or threatened, the wolf reminds us of how those feelings put our entire psyche off balance. Yes, fear plays an important role in personal safety unless it becomes all-consuming or is baseless. Don’t let the darkness consume your spirit.

Sometimes the wolf calls on us to become the Lone Wolf, who breaks away from the pack to discover the Sacred Self. During times of aloneness, you rediscover your dreams and passions. You also start uncovering the true self and voice that howls at the moon with abandonment!

Humans are animals, and sometimes we overlook the gifts from nature that are already within us. Life has an order and rhythm. When you run with a pack, there is a sense of community, and when you’re alone – liberation.

Those who walk with the wolf sometimes don’t trust themselves as much as they should. When you find yourself falling into that emotional pattern, rely on your keen mind and logic to renew balance.

The key caution for wolf people is your predatory nature. Now, here’s the thing about a wolf’s “predatory” nature – they mostly focus on taking down the weak, sick, and elderly.

Rarely will a Wolf prey on a strong, mature adult. Surely nature has a reason for this, but in terms of symbolism for humans, the lesson here is to make sure that you do not choose to prey on those who are not able to stand against you.

Rohan Mac Uaid (Hogwarts Legacy)

The Gray Wolf is Rohan's patronus. As his patronus is the gray wolf, he is constantly transforming himself, improving himself as he encounters the lessons and challenges of life.

The gray wolf is the wolf who stands at the Western Door. The winds of change will gently flow through the life of the gray wolf soul, stirring him to greet the change with the knowledge of the lessons that such transitional times will herald. The gray wolf soul understands that change is merely growth, an essential part of life, and thus, embraces change easily.

McQuaids with the gray wolf patronus doesn't strain to see what is not yet visible on the other side, merely acknowledges that the changes will surely take place and that the choices he/she makes, will fashion the path they take.

The individual with the totem of the gray wolf understands the importance of protecting and nurturing life in all of its varied and brilliant forms. He is the soul that desires to be of service to others and thus enters a profession which will be in alignment with these principles. She is the soul who desires to nurture the spark of soul awareness in the other members of her society, so as to ensure the survival of the species. In whatever form this urge of guardianship manifests itself, the gray wolf totem will always strive to be of benefit to the whole.

The wolf soul is one who understands the depth of connection with another, be it mate, friend or family member. These individuals will tend to be monogamous in nature. If a mate is not found that shares this same sense of loyalty, then the wolf totem will choose to live as a solitary wolf yet will still have deep and abiding bonds with friends and/or family.

The gray wolf totem is drawn to individuals who possess the ability to employ rational thought coupled with intuitive understanding. As he walks through life, wolf soul uses his keen intelligence to assess issues and situations which demand resolution. He then follows the prompts he receives from his own higher sense of knowing to achieve necessary growth and learning.

Rohan has quite a fierce temper and often scolds others for their incompetence. After meeting Avis, her gentle nature melting his heart of ice, Rohan shows more self restraint in terms of his emotions. He cares little about status or tradition, and merely judges others solely based on their knowledge, skill and loyalty.

Coby McQuaid (Hogwarts Mystery)

Coby's patronus is the Arctic Wolf. It is said that at the door of each of the Four Winds, a wolf keeps silent vigil, each bringing change to the life of those who walk the good Red Road and with the change, a lesson unique to that wind.

The arctic wolf is the Wolf of the North Winds. He stands quietly in rigid determination, unyielding at times, much as the barren landscapes of his home appear to resist the beginning of Spring.  She is a soul that is comfortable with her surroundings and therefore sees no “reason” to change.

Yet the promise of the North Wind is wisdom unfolding through gratitude and acknowledgment. This is the direction in which wisdom is sifted from the sands of experience and then fashioned into a red staff of manifestation that wields personal potential. Therefore, if the white wolf soul can accept change when it appears, yet remain true to his/her values, then the higher vibration of wisdom and truth can emerge from beneath stubborn resistance like shoots of sweet summer grass bursting forth from a blanket of winter’s snow. Thus, personal power can be embraced, understood and ultimately, the soul’s individual potential manifested.

The individual with the arctic wolf as their power totem is one who is capable of withstanding numerous challenges and setbacks, only to emerge stronger than before. It is little wonder that these souls will often face adversity in their lives in order to build the resilience with which to overcome obstacles? Paradoxically, they are also gentle souls with a great deal of emotional sensitivity . . . and this is the area in which they are likely to encounter their greatest lessons. Yet by calling upon the inner strength and resilience of the arctic wolf, they can triumph and raise their heads with gratitude to the loving rays of the sun.

The arctic wolf soul is an individual who is capable of performing nearly miraculous bouts of stamina that would weary other souls as he travels the good Red Road. He possesses within him the ability to push his body and mind to the limits, and in fact, can appear to even derive pleasure from doing so.

With each new goal that has been met, the arctic wolf individual will then set his/her sights on the next task at hand. Preferably the new goal will be even more challenging than the one just completed, as this engenders the acknowledgment within their own reasoning that they are worthy of that which has been given to them, yet the truth of the matter is that anything they have received, has been honestly won.

Veruca McQuaid (Hogwarts Mystery)

The Arctic Wolf is Veruca's patronus. Although she shares the same patronus as her brother, the patronus takes on a different meaning. The Arctic Wolf patronus Veruca has, is the shadow to the alpha Arctic Wolf. So even with her patronus, Veruca is still in Coby's shadow.

When manifesting as a shadow totem, the arctic wolf brings lessons in life experience that will tend to build up a defensive wall around the shadow wolf soul. These individuals enter onto the Red Road with a good deal of vulnerability, in many instances a higher degree of sensitivity to their environments than most. Yet, as time goes by, extremely painful circumstances are met that will either construct a fortress of solitude or a friendly barrier that keeps others at a “safe” distance, thereby decreasing the chances that the individual may once again be hurt.

McQuaids who have the arctic wolf patronus are stoic and resolute individuals who appear to bear any storm with a spirit of strength and perseverance. And indeed, they are quite capable of enduring many hardships, yet the true lesson for the arctic wolf is the act of maintaining a certain measure of vulnerability in the face of the brutal lessons they encounter.

Though those with the arctic wolf patronus are naturally geared toward a mostly solitary existence, they will have a couple, to a few close & trusted friends that will be more like family members than their own biological family. The reason for this is due to the fact that the shadow arctic wolf soul will often grow up in a family that is either highly dysfunctional, or in circumstances where one or both parents are absent, be this as in the sense that the parental figures are deceased, or where the mother and father are emotionally unavailable.

Veruca isn't as close to her mother as she is with her father. Though she loves her just as much, she can't help but feel like a second thought compared to Coby. Carson is a close friend to Veruca that they consider each other siblings. Veruca even refers to the Iveys as her second family and addresses Mr. and Mrs. Ivey as mom and dad.

Again, trust is hard to earn from those who own an arctic wolf patronus, and bonds once forged in trust will rarely be broken unless there is an extreme betrayal on the part of their loved one. The ultimate challenge of these individuals is to learn to be open, vulnerable and trusting in the face of a lifetime of lessons in rejection, disillusionment, and betrayal. Yet it is interesting that these people will often be the ones to break off relationships, and are seldom the one to be “left behind.”

Right after graduation, Veruca leaves everyone behind to find her own peace and come to terms with everything that has happened. After finding her peace, she comes back to reconcile and reunite with everyone else. While on her own journey, her patronus ends up changing to match Diego's patronus.

Carson Ivey (Hogwarts Mystery)

Carson's patronus is the owl, specifically the Brown Owl. The owl cannot be deceived, which is why this spirit animal reminds us to remain true to ourselves, our voice, and our vision. The owl spirit does not tolerate illusion or secrets.

Being Veruca's best friend, it's a given Carson knows what's truly going on with her. Though it's pretty easy for him to read the moods of someone, he's not one to pry into someone's personal affairs.

The owl is a symbol of being able to navigate any darkness in our life; this spirit brings clarity, prophetic inklings, and a strong connection with the mystical world.

Those with the owl patronus have the opportunity to become far more observant. Being able to notice a lot of important details that previously eluded you. The world is filled with layers of symbolism and meaning, and the owl gives you “new” eyes with which to see those.

As a spirit animal, the owl often calls on us to release the past and put down burdens that hold us back. You have to face your shadows and fears, then move beyond them to find true happiness.

Owls don’t just honor us with the ability of “Second Sight." These majestic birds have hearing that is quite literally “perfect stereo." The owl as a spirit animal guide can aid you in hearing what is really being said despite the words and emotions coming from the messenger.

The owl spirit can help support you when the time to speak your truth has arrived. Remember, owls are birds of prey, and little stops them when they set their sites on “the prize.” What or whom do you have your heart set on? Focus, patience, and stillness can win the day.

Invoke owl energy when you need to see all the details of what or who is coming toward you and what is right in front of you.

Carson may be chaotic with his personality, but he can be patient to analyze and assess a situation. He's quite stubborn, might be because his childhood friend is Veruca and he picked up on her own stubbornness, but he will continue to push for what he stands for.

In Celtic mythology, owls knew the way to the underworld and were fierce defenders of truth and honor. The owl has no tolerance for deception, even when we are deceiving ourselves.

The Celtic Owl was tied closely to the ancient Goddess of fertility. It frequently appears in knotwork and bestiaries, being revered for its ability to see in the dark and acting as a messenger between humans and the Divine.

Avis Ni Conraoi (Hogwarts Legacy)

Avis' patronus is the butterfly. Those with the butterfly patronus means it's time for personal growth and greater awareness of mental, physical, and spiritual rhythms. Change can sometimes be challenging and daunting because it moves us out of our comfort zone.

You cannot embrace a “new you” until you release the old. With the butterfly spirit, you’ll find that you can fly gracefully above the barriers that would otherwise hold you back.

The Conraois are quite a spiritually oriented family one can say. They don't appear to worry over minor things that can cause someone to stress out to the point of exhaustion. Avis, herself, lives her life freely with no worries. Life is too short for her to take a slow path and be cautious of everything. She simply goes with the flow, following where the wind takes her on a new journey.

The butterfly as a teacher puts great emphasis on movement: Be it blossom-to-blossom, home-to-home, or one state in our spiritual exploration to another.

An old Irish blessing says,

“May the wings of the butterfly kiss the sun, and find your shoulder to light on.

To bring you luck, happiness, and riches today, tomorrow and beyond.”

Throughout Celtic regions, the butterfly represents prosperity, joy, good fortune, and honor. Butterflies also symbolizes the soul. So much was the case that harming a white butterfly was against the law in Ireland because of the belief it bore a dead child’s spirit.

The butterfly often turns our thoughts inward to review elements of our character, morals, and habits that weigh us down, keeping us stuck in a mire of negative energy.

The goal of the winged ally is restoring lightness in your being so you can dance life’s dance with unbridled joy!

People with a butterfly as their patronus have a natural lightness of spirit! They love the beauty of nature and are guided by the greatest good when it comes to maintaining balance with the environment.

Avis is normally against violence, opting to be an advocate of peace. Though if that peace has been disturbed, she will take on a more passive aggressive attitude to protect that peace.

With the butterfly patronus, you’ll find that you’re better equipped to look at difficult situations from another angle. As you fly on her wings, your perspective becomes more global and hopeful.

Butterfly people are naturally social, colorful, and vibrant. They endeavor to live each moment to the fullest.

[dweemeister]

Movie Odyssey Retrospective

Mary Poppins (1964)

After the animators’ strike in 1941 saw many of his talented artists depart for cross-Hollywood rivals or create their own studios, Walt Disney bristled with bitterness. Disney – an artistic visionary, an anti-unionist, and fervent anti-communist (he believed the strike was ignited by communist agitators) – had felt betrayed by the striking animators he considered his family, and would no longer be as emotionally or personally involved in any of the studio’s post-Bambi (1942) animated features. His attention turned to supporting America’s World War II efforts; the studio’s entrance into live-action films in the 1950s; television; and the construction of Disneyland in Anaheim, California. As one of the most honored individuals in Hollywood, one accolade eluded him: a nomination for the Academy Award for Best Picture. His best chance by that point came with Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937) – which was instead honored with a novel honorary Oscar presented to him by Shirley Temple. Disney had poured his soul into the innovative Snow White and, privately, he was perturbed by the Academy’s (and the public’s) belief that animation was subordinate to live-action cinema.

By the early 1960s, Disney was reflecting on Snow White, the then-critical (not commercial) disapproval of Song of the South (1946), and how his daughters in the late 1930s asked him to make a film about P.L. Travers’ Mary Poppins. After on-and-off negotiations with Travers beginning in 1938, Disney finally secured the rights to the Mary Poppins books, and Travers was brought on as a consultant on the film. Directed by Robert Stevenson, this would be the final film that Walt Disney truly felt passionate about. Though Travers instantly disliked (but made some peace with) this adaptation of Mary Poppins, the cinematic heavens broke loose. Mary Poppins is the greatest live-action Disney film ever made; there is, as of the publication of this write-up, no serious competition.

The film begins with a chimney sweep/one-man-band/screever named Bert (Dick Van Dyke) breaking the fourth wall to introduce a corner of London on the cusp of dramatic change. It's grand to be an Englishman in 1910; King Edward's on the throne and it's the age of men. At least that is what George Banks (David Tomlinson) thinks. George is married to the constantly out-of-the-house suffragette Winifred (Glynis Johns) and their children, Jane (Karen Dotrice) and Michael (Matthew Garber) have just driven out their latest nanny. George, a high-ranking banker, is consumed with work – making him emotionally distant from his children. One day, Mary Poppins (Julie Andrews) floats into 17 Cherry Tree Lane, essentially hires herself (to explain this in words to those who have not seen the movie will make little sense), and meets with Jane and Michael for the first time. With Mary Poppins, Jane and Michael and Bert – who is platonically familiar with Mary – have their share of fantastical adventures in London. Though it may appear at first Mary Poppins has arrived for the children, that is only the secondary reason for her arrival at the Banks household.

Mary Poppins also features the maid Ellen (Hermione Baddeley); next-door neighbors Admiral Boom (Reginald Owen) and first mate Mr. Binnacle (Don Barclay); the gleeful Uncle Albert (Ed Wynn); and Banks’ boss Mr. Dawes, Sr. There are also brief cameos for two of the best actresses of Old Hollywood: Elsa Lanchester (the title role in 1935′s Bride of Frankenstein, 1957′s Witness for the Prosecution) plays Katie Nanna and, in her final film appearance upon the personal request of Walt Disney, Jane Darwell (Ma Joad in 1940′s The Grapes of Wrath, 1943′s The Ox-Bow Incident) as the “Bird Woman”.

Upon her arrival at 17 Cherry Tree Lane, the Banks family is obviously dysfunctional. From the initial parental perspective, Jane and Michael are undisciplined, too often indulging in play, and not following the regimented lifestyle of their father. Through Mr. Banks, their childhoods are being wasted on trivial pursuits. Mrs. Banks is well-meaning, but absent – despite being the impassioned suffragette, she is reluctant to speak out against her husband (this is never explored, but is her activism a way to express herself outside a stifling household?). Jane and Michael’s parents are often unavailable, leaving their small gestures of compassion ignored or shrugged off. This is not a familial situation to be wished on anyone. Enter Mary Poppins. The idea that she arrives at the Banks household primarily to correct the behavior of the children has been resilient since the film’s initial release. While with the Banks family, she advocates for cleanliness and manners – something that Jane and Michael sometimes lack, yet their cases are not extraordinary compared to what one might expect from children. Mary Poppins, the character, almost never explains her intentions, does not explicitly attempt to “fix” the children, and will act in ways reminding Jane and Michael that their parents are important than she. Mary Poppins retains a mysterious, unknowable distance from most everyone in the film – a feature respectful of Travers’ literary characterization of the flying nanny, and fully dependent on a magnificent performance from Julie Andrews.

Mary Poppins is ostensibly about the title character or her attempts to “save” the children. Mary, Jane, and Michael are the concentration for most of the film. It is when we see the less visible source of the Banks’ troubles that the film shifts its focus to its inner heart. Mary Poppins, through the children, reminds their father of what being a caring, supportive parent means. Mr. Banks – as Bert tells the children late in the film (“they makes cages from all sizes and shapes, you know – bank-shaped some of them, carpets and all”) – has no one to look after him at the Fidelity Fiduciary Bank. Mr. Banks’ cutthroat working environment is predicated on making as much money as possible. His workplace is impersonal, without regard to any of the employees’ unspoken desolation. When Mr. Banks comes home, he is unable to unwind, to appreciate his children enjoying their childhood – a lot of earned praised comes Dick Van Dyke’s way, but save a thought for David Tomlinson, who delivers a heartrending performance as the film finally centers on his character in its final act. He does not talk about the previous day, proceeding to chastise Jane and Michael for not being as uptight as him. Mr. Banks nor the bank are antagonists; this is a rare Disney live-action film without a villain. In their cloistered, specific culture, Banks’ fellow bankers have eroded his ability to remember what is important – that kindness and mindfulness for their own sake are never for naught. Life is too fleeting for anything else.

Jane and Michael learn that the difficulty of their father’s work impacts how he acts around them. More subtly, they also learn how to care for him. This is not easy for children watching for the first or even the tenth time to fully comprehend. Mary Poppins may seem – to those who have not seen it recently or at all – to be a sugary children’s musical. It is anything but. The Walt Disney Studios filmography, as far back as Snow White, is too often painted with such generalizations.

Despite being a bit overlong and Robert Stevenson’s typical uninspired direction, this is a film of incredible technical achievement. With Song of the South’s echoes still reverberating in Disney’s imagination, there is a lengthy animation sequence melded with live-action – the first Disney film to do so since So Dear to My Heart (1948). And like Song of the South, Mary Poppins’ animation/live-action segment has a showstopping musical number based on a fictional word. The seamless use of animation – opposed by Travers – is mostly thanks to animator/special effects technician Ub Iwerks (who had worked with Disney since the silent era) adjusting the Technicolor camera and process that were previously used for So Dear to My Heart. Even with the advent of computerized animation today, Mary Poppins’ animation – steeped in the post-One Hundred and One Dalmatians (1961) limited animation aesthetic that would dominate Disney animation for the next few decades – is as flawlessly integrated as it appeared on its premiere.

The Sherman Brothers – Richard M. Sherman and the late Robert B. Sherman – wrote more film musical scores than any other duo. Robert was the melancholic half who mostly did the lyrics; Richard remains the jocular one who usually composed melodies (their duties were interchangeable, so it is rare to delineate each Sherman brother’s contributions). Near the start of their songwriting careers, they became staff composers at Walt Disney Studios after charting with a single sung by Mouseketeer Judy Harriet and, later, her fellow Mouseketeer Annette Funicello. 1964 would be a banner year for the Shermans, beginning with “It’s a Small World (After All)” for the 1964 New York World’s Fair (the attraction from the World’s Fair would reopen at Disneyland in 1966, where it remains). Their score and soundtrack to Mary Poppins came next. The final product is in the conversation for the strongest collection of original songs composed for a movie musical.

Those who have never seen Mary Poppins should skip the next four paragraphs and the two lyrical passages that follow.

Two of the early songs will be reprised multiple times during the film: “Chim Chim Cher-ee” and “The Life I Lead”. The former is Bert’s primary song, like a working-class waltz, with the verses changing depending on when the reprise appears in the narrative.  It is meant to expedite exposition, revealing plot points and locations through the only character who breaks the fourth wall. “The Life I Lead” will be used as George Banks’ primary song and leitmotif in the score – reprised and retitled as “A British Bank” and “A Man Has Dreams” (this latter reprise is sung with Bert, who sends Mr. Banks into deep thought without confrontation or humiliation) – and is composed like a march. With a set of lyrics like these, Mr. Banks’ character is outlined in a brisk couple of minutes:

A British bank is run with precision A British home requires nothing less! Tradition, discipline, and rules must be the tools Without them – Disorder! Catastrophe! Anarchy! �� In short, we have a ghastly mess!

Moving into the middle third of the score, one encounters musical numbers that are known even to those who have never seen a clip of Mary Poppins: “A Spoonful of Sugar” and “Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious”. “A Spoonful of Sugar” will be Mary Poppins’ motif in the film’s score and is used to teach Jane and Michael to see busy work through a different lens: that, with the correct attitude, it can be productive and fun. Mary Poppins does not remark on Jane and Michael’s cleanliness much, but recall this is not the foremost problem that the children face, and this is largely resolved through this song. “Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious” is the greatest song with a fourteen-syllable word title ever composed – a lyricists’ nightmare to craft, yet impeccably performed and constructed. Both songs’ reputations are earned, but the best is yet to come.

Not all songs can be stunners, as seen with the nevertheless-incredible “Stay Awake”, “I Love to Laugh” (an entertaining diversion and nothing more), “Fidelity Fiduciary Bank” (its humor underrated), and “Step in Time” (which I admire for its choreography, not the music). “Let’s Go Fly a Kite” is a valedictory musical hurrah basking in unbridled joy. The song’s lyrics may seem simple, but given that it appears in the final minutes and considering what has just occurred, it is a musical and contextual triumph. Mary Poppins’ most resonant song is the one that does not trumpet uptempo energy. “Feed the Birds” is a masterpiece musically and thematically. The lyrics, shifting from E minor to G Major, on paper, do not initially appear singable. But the melody is perfect (the score’s best cue is “Mr. Banks is Discharged”, which combines “Feed the Birds” with “The Life I Lead”), allowing lyrics like these to appeal to the audience’s hearts:

All around the cathedral, the saints and apostles Look down as she sells her wares. Although you can't see it, you know they are smiling Each time someone shows that he cares.

To see the world through another’s eyes – especially those most in need (in which “need” is relative and appearing in various forms) – is worthwhile. It lessens the suffering of others, inspiring them to act in goodwill when they can. "Feed the Birds” and “Stay Awake” would be the only two songs that P.L. Travers approved of. The former encapsulates what Mary Poppins has to say.

The Shermans never wrote a better musical. Their work on Mary Poppins flows with the plot, incorporating the film’s central ideas without being pedantic or repetitive. Just a glance at what films they composed for afterwards will inspire awe: the Winnie the Pooh films (1966-2018), The Jungle Book (1967), Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (1968), The Slipper and the Rose (1976), and beyond. This is not even diving into their works for the Disney parks!

Originally not invited to the film premiere because of her outspoken opposition to many of the cinematic decisions, P.L. Travers shamed a Disney executive into letting her attend. Travers appreciated Mary Poppins as a film, but not as an adaptation of her books – forbidding anyone involved in the Disney adaptation except Julie Andrews from starring in any other Mary Poppins-related adaptations (Travers specifically singled out the Sherman Brothers by name). Disney’s intransigence, recalling his conduct during the animator’s strike, strained relations between Travers and the studio. Recently, Saving Mr. Banks (2013) told the story of the making of Mary Poppins from Travers’ perspective, taking numerous historical liberties. Travers’ estate approved the production of Mary Poppins Returns (2018) – a sequel to this film.

Disney received that Academy Award nomination for Best Picture – the nomination itself was the validation he wanted from his Hollywood colleagues. In the years after the film’s release, years of heavy smoking were catching up with Disney. With no close friends at the studio, he told almost no one about his health. After Mary Poppins’ release, Disney would request the Shermans to come into his office on Fridays to talk about the workweek, and ask the Shermans to play “Feed the Birds” at the meeting’s end. "Feed the Birds” became Walt Disney’s favorite song from any film he ever made. According to Richard M. Sherman, following one meeting, with the final notes of “Feed the Birds” fading to silence, he remarked, “That’s what it’s all about, everything we do at Disney.”

Mary Poppins debuted to an America and a world soon to plunge into turmoil – most of which Disney himself would never see. Traditional, big-budget musicals like Mary Poppins, My Fair Lady (1964), and The Sound of Music (1965) became cinematic refuges. Those three films had dominated American filmmaking in a two-year span and the major studios – taking a page from Fidelity Fiduciary Bank – wanted to make head-spinning profits. Many of these post-Sound of Music musicals could not match the standards set by those three musicals, and the widely-covered failures of these musicals would make the genre anathema to Hollywood by the next decade. Maybe it is because of this timing that Mary Poppins is so often described as a children’s movie. However one describes Mary Poppins, it is one of the final statements by a Walt Disney Studios still helmed by its namesake. Its production was turbulent in an era where changing tastes should have worked against it, but Mary Poppins rivals the best Hollywood musical movies.

My rating: 10/10

^ Based on my personal imdb rating. Mary Poppins was upgraded from an initial score of 9/10. Mary Poppins is the one hundred and forty-eighth feature-length or short film I have rated a ten on imdb (this write-up was expedited before the write-ups on the films that will be the 149th and 150th).

This is the thirteenth Movie Odyssey Retrospective. Movie Odyssey Retrospectives are write-ups on films I had seen in their entirety before this blog’s creation or films I failed to give a full-length write-up to following the blog’s creation. Previous Retrospectives include Mr. Smith Goes to Washington (1939), Dumbo (1941), and Godzilla (1954, Japan)

[bts-love-sweat-tears]

Change of Heart (Follower Celebration Fic #3)

Title: Change of Heart

Pairing:  Jungkook x reader

Type: shifter!au, wolf!au, angst with a happy ending, Friday Night Lights meets Teen Wolf? Idk.

Word Count: 1,894

Rating: PG    

Warnings: mentions of depression post-bad breakup, language

A/N:   The third of five for my 200 follower celebration! Requested by a lovely anon. This literally wrote itself- I think you can tell sometimes when it flows easier. It was in the notebook that I carry around so I had a fun time deciphering my own handwriting lol. I was tempted to leave it open-ended and ambiguous as I am oft to do, but anon requested happy so I hope you love it. Except for the soulmate thing, it actually has very little to do with shifters.

A/N Update: Crap there are so many typos I’m sorry. Brain and fingers while typing don’t communicate well. Working on edits now, but was excited to get it out <3 

How could you even express what Jungkook meant to you? Until now, you had always kind of taken him for granted. Being with him was like breathing. You didn’t think about it until it lost its usual ease. Clearly, you were now in the emotional equivalent of a head cold. Kook was literally the boy next door, and the two of you had been inseparable since the day his parents had dragged him along to welcome the new neighbors; apple pie still steaming in their hands.

If your parents were surprised by the small-town niceties, you couldn’t say. Kook and you had been in the midst of a stare-down, some kind of weird kindergarten dominance battle. Later in life, you would realize just how dumb it was to stare down a wolf-shifter, but at the time you hadn’t even realized what he was, let alone the finer points of inter-species etiquette. And it didn’t much matter, since had caved first, and bounded over to wrap you in a hug. Most of your childhood memories from that time were filled with warmth, whether from the hugs or the pie you couldn’t say for certain.

You thought that warmth would continue forever, and for a long time, it did. Your childhood adventures with Kook were filled with pillow forts, catching fireflies, and watching Ironman approximately ten thousand times. But then puberty hit you both like a train, and in very different ways. His shifts started, and he shot up and bulked up, while you filled out in different places, both of you mutually pimply and suddenly awkward.

Childhood warmth morphed into a flame. Pleasant in small amounts but dangerous if left unchecked. So you tried your hardest to keep a lid on your growing feelings. Jungkook had long ago explained that shifters get one mate for life, usually another shifter, so that the person wouldn’t be destroyed by the other not reciprocating their feelings. He had explained that while “mate” implied something physical, it was actually so much more than that-two halves of the same soul residing in different bodies. Not someone to fuck with, literally or metaphorically.  The way he had talked about it at the time made it seem like something far off, like college, marriage, or having kids, so the two of you worked hard in tiptoeing around what that might mean for your friendship. Instead, the two of you continued as you always had, and if his parents shot the two of you knowing looks, neither of you acknowledged it.

As high school dragged on, the two of you became busier, him with varsity football and you with drama club. Your friend groups diverged, but you both still made the time to hang out on the weekend and nerd out together, your friendship never losing that special spark.

Until he started dating a fellow wolf shifter from a nearby school. You presumed it to be serious, since shifters didn’t really date casually due to the soul bond. You were never really the jealous type, and Jungkook’s new and improved bunny smile helped you to welcome his girlfriend into your friendship.  She “got” him in ways that you never could, and not just because she was a wolf. Toned, tall, and golden, you were fairly certain that she could run both literal and metaphorical laps around you. It didn’t hurt that she was cool and genuinely gorgeous. Why even worry about competing when it was clearly impossible? And toxic?

But you would be lying if you denied the smaller, less secure part of yourself that felt jealous and displaced. Jungkook still tried to make time for your more occasional Friday night hangouts, but she kept taking up more and more of his headspace. When not actively talking about her, he was checking his phone incessantly. Maybe you were being petty, but you still wanted him to be present in your life as well.

Slowly but surely, you started staying later at theater rehearsals and investing more time into other friendships. Correspondingly, Jungkook’s text messages slowed to a trickle. The two of you still ate lunch together most days, but it had become less intense than it had once been. Occasionally, he still gave you those signature one-armed hugs that you secretly loved, his chin resting on the crown of your much lower head. Years ago, he had given you an overly vague description of pack dynamics, and the need for physical affection, which confused you now. Shouldn’t he be getting said attentions from his soulmate?A small part of you was flattered that his new relationship hadn’t completely displaced you from his pack. “Bros before….” whatever, as the expression went.

You convinced yourself it was innocent, particularly since you had started dating an equally nerdy lighting tech you had met through drama club. If his affinity for the MCU replicated someone else’s, you couldn’t say. If his penchant for video games reminded you of a childhood friend, well, everyone loved video games. Nothing to see there. If when kissing him, you envisioned someone else’s face, well you would never let on. It was never as serious as Kook’s relationship seemed to be.

Though all parties involved knew the inevitable outcome of the blossoming relationship between the two shifters, you had never actually heard Jungkook use the word “soulmate” in reference to his girlfriend. Because of books and movies, people tended to think of it as insta-love, but that wasn’t (usually) how it worked in real life. For as as much as their inner wolves guided them, they were people as well: emotions, ambitions, tics and traits as much as anyone else.  Even in the “wild” (though you often snorted at the dramatic image this conjured), there were trial periods, rituals,  and rites of passage. But from the outside, the two of them were the complementary faces of a coin, peas in a pod, tied by the strings of fate, and any other metaphor that someone wanted to use. Maybe it was one of those things Jungkook just knew,without the need to put a label on it.

Or so you thought. Clearly, you didn’t know as much about the natural world (or matters of the heart) as you had thought. Most of your knowledge you’d gleaned from NatGeo or Discovery Channel documentaries- you were a suburban kid like any other. Your knowledge of romance came from novels with Fabio or one of his five thousand lookalikes on the cover, CW shows, and your admittedly very lackluster current relationship.  When Kook had found out  he had growled slightly, and immediately tried to mask it with a cough. But you’d known him long enough to not fall for his bullshit. You were indignant though-you’d been supportive of his relationship, so why couldn’t he support yours? Sometimes, when the two of you walked down the hallway holding hands, Kook would shoot daggers with his eyes, which you would studiously ignore. But the guy was either oblivious or braver than you gave him credit for.

All these pointed looks and tension should have painted a sign for you (in neon letters) that all was NOT well in paradise, but you were working so hard to suppress what you felt for your childhood friend that it surprised you as much as anyone else when Kook’s girlfriend broke up with him. “Broke up” was giving her more than she deserved-she had simply taken off one day. Wolf shifters tended to the transient side (Kook’s family being the exception), and one day when another pack was passing through, she decided to run off with the alpha. You didn’t know if she’d found “the one” or was just flighty. And you certainly weren’t interested in the politics of the shifter world, but it didn’t take a genius to figure out the bump in status she would get from a high school kid to an established alpha. But you couldn’t spare her a second thought- your best friend was destroyed. Suddenly, the golden jock of the school was acting like one of the emo kids: dark circles from lack of sleep, appetite wrecked, small things irritating him, or at other times, complete indifference when he should have been irritated.

You didn’t know if Kook had it in him to love anyone else- maybe that part of him had left with her.  And it wasn’t particularly at the forefront of your mind, but you were genuinely worried about your friend. With the fall play winding down and winter finals fast approaching, you had extra time on your hands that you were supposed to be using to study. Instead, you spent every waking moment with Kook…and some decidedly not wakeful moments. It was around this time that your own boyfriend broke up with you, citing your emotional unavailability. You felt bad for wasting his time, but you also felt free. It was a relief, honestly, to be over and done with it.

All of the distance between you evaporated in a few weeks, if that. You watched Deadpool and Ant Man, played Overwatch, and tried to distract your friend from his heartbreak. Often, he would fall asleep, head resting on your lap, tears dripping from the corner of his eyes, even in sleep. But his parents had told you later that was the only time he was seemingly at ease enough to sleep at all.

You knew there were things unsaid, but it wasn’t the time-not when he was emotionally vulnerable. You didn’t want to feel predatory, and it was during this time, things started to fall into place for you. Your own feelings began to crystallize, and you realized that it didn’t matter in what way you had him, but that he needed to be in your life. Even if romantic love never materialized, there were other kinds of love that were just as deep and important. And you realized that you loved him, in that way too. Everything else-it was a distraction. It was thoughts like this that strengthened your resolve when things seemed particularly bleak.

Over time, everything you gave to him, he gave back tenfold. He slowly began to smile again, and sleep through the night. But the two of you continued to come and go from school together, one doing homework and waiting for the other if at practice or rehearsal. He never dated again while in high school, and you both ended up going to the local university. You for the in-state tuition breaks and well-rated course of study that you wanted, and him….well, you weren’t sure why, but if the ways his parents smirked was any indication, you might have had an inkling. After a mandatory first year spent in the dorms, the two of you got an apartment near the campus. And though neither of you were ones for lengthy confessions you had an understanding: you were soulmates in whatever way a damaged wolf shifter and human could be.  Never alone and always taking care of each other. Which was why, you were so shocked when, one average day like any other, he got down on one knee, and offered you a small velvet box, telling you that his heart was in your hands,  as it had always been and would always be.

[superbabyadvice]

Mother-Kid Relationship: Importance And Methods To Improve

Several people have described a mother-child relationship in various ways. Many people believe that mother's children are her most treasured possession. Some say that a kid's mother is the sun.

A mother is an example to follow, a best friend, and strong pillar for her Kid. For the mother she is her child. Kid is her world. The mother develops strong bonds with her child as soon as she is born. The relationship evolves as the Kid develops, but their feelings stay the same.

Sometimes this amazing relationship can be tensions. Both parents are affected. In such circumstances it is vital to address the issues and make the relationship better. This article discusses the relationship between a mother and Kid and provides suggestions on how to improve it even more.

Why is the mother-child relationship so important?

According to the Journal of Neuroscience, the mother-child bond is thought to be stronger than other parents-offspring relationships. This relationship can help a woman create every other relationship she has throughout her life. Hence, it is an important relationship for every woman. If you require to discover further more information on mother-child relationship, you have to click over here at KnowYourKid site.

Also, it is one of those relationships that is constantly shifting its nature. As the years go by some tense moments do arrive. It's typically due to the generation gap. It's also when mothers attempt to safeguard their children by creating certain paraimeters And their kids are rebellious. This is why people often say "like mommy, like child."

Because every mother-child bond is distinct, the bond that is shared varies from one to another. Mother-Kid relationships can be rocky beginning, and certain types of relationships may follow a more challenging path as the Kid grows. Any of the dysfunctional patterns between a mother and her Kid could cause the relationship to be harmful.

Different types of unhealthy mother-child relationships

The relationship between mother, child and father can be powerful but it is also difficult. If no effort is made to improve the relationship, it may turn out to be unhealthy. Let us check out the various types of unhealthy mother-child relationship.

Controlling relationship

Many people believe that the control-based behavior of the mother is normal parenting style. But it is not. It restricts the Kid's freedom and limits her interests and desires. If the mother is in control of her Kid throughout her childhood or it is after the Kid has reached adulthood, and has a relationship that is healthy, both are detrimental to a healthy one.

There are a variety of ways to manage. There are those who use anger, indifference or both. Others use psychological blackmail. A mother-child relationship that is controlled is often referred to as a boss-subordinate relation because the mother is trying to supervise and control the activities of her child. The Kid on the other hand will do whatever it takes to please her mother, and gain her approval.

Sometimes, Mothers try to manage their children to protect themselves. Although the intentions may not be negative, the outcome surely will be. A controlling personality is thought to be unfit for a mother-and- child relationship.

Disconnect from emotions

Children often look for their mothers when suffering from emotional stress. If their mother isn't around and the child isn't available, he or she may be more affixed or lonely.

It could cause a break in family relationships when the mother distances from her child. Also, this kind of childhood can create emotional marks. Therefore, it is thought of as a dysfunctional mother - kid relationship.

There are situations in which the mother is physically and emotionally unavailable for the Kid when she most needs her. Or the mother does not contact the Kid physically, like hugging or handholding. This kind of connection is known as ghost relationships.

Judgmental relationship

It's fine to shape the Kid to help her shape herself. The criticism of the Kid's actions can lead to bitterness in the relationship. Mothers should encourage and support their children, not criticize them each step of the way.

If the capability to be independent is taken away that may hinder her growth in her life. This type of parent-child bond is not suitable for all. With each passing day the relationship takes on an unsavory direction.

A trophy child

This kind of relationship involves the mother using her Kid to display her positive qualities and achievements without considering her Kid's needs. Because she is using her life to gain the attention of others and to impress others, the Kid is usually unhappy.

[identitycris1s]

im back

hi just thought id pop in with a status update! maybe i’ll break this down into categories. feel like im doing an email update (ew!) but this rly is probs the best way to structure this post...

work / school (?)

work has been....aite. idk what to say. idk if i have unrealistic expectations of what work is supposed to be, but the idealist in me thinks its wrong to not even try and find something that seems meaningful / is deeply fulfilling. i think im mature enough to get that work isnt supposed to be fun / exciting every single day but bro this daily grind / sense of dread / utter disinterest / feeling of futility / frustration / disenchantment surely isnt the correct state of affairs.....at least let me try and find something that is a better fit, thats more stimulating, that feels more NATURAL to me? i just dont think im cut out to be a lawyer. sure i sometimes like arguing and making my point and i like that everyone i work with is smart and interesting and generally kind and reasonable and i like the prestige of the job and feeling like ppl respect me and i like the decent pay and the humane hours but.....i feel unmotivated to be a good lawyer. i think i find it difficult / disingenuous to always 100% get behind my client and advocate for their best interests. i tend to see things from a zoomed out perspective, like WHY are we fighting, WHY cant we just settle, WHY are the claimants pursuing this absolutely crap and unmeritorious claim and WHY do we have to defend it when its stupid and bound to fail (cos access2justice i guess but still, WHY), WHY cant we just hash things out in a meeting instead of sending emails here and there and wasting time, WHY do we have to answer stupid questions, WHY WHY WHY

and i think public policy is sort of an answer to that....i think theres more questioning of why we do things and why a policy will or will not work, in a macro sense - what is good for society at large. whereas in law (at least in litigation) its how can we just move this case forward and help the client, which is often not the most productive thing to do in a macro sense - very much a zero sum game. i get that shitty / unmeritorious claims still need to be defended against and someone has to do it and I GET IT but i just dont think i want to be that person defending these claims...or bringing them for that matter.....ultimately i cant fully / sincerely separate the overarching sense of futility from the duty to do a good job.

sigh. well at least ive kind of figured out this isnt for me. which is scary cos being a lawyer in this firm is pretty much a career for life - truly an iron rice bowl, i could probably make partner in maybe 4 or 5 years and live a comfortable upper middle class life...but i cant bring myself to do that. i cant bring myself to not give myself a shot at doing something i actually find interesting, stimulating and that i care about deeply. call me crazy! we’ll see where this brings me in 5 years’ time....:) 

anyway most ppl at work (at least in my team) know that im most likely gonna leave soon. i rly only told 2 ppl (my boss cos he had to sign off on my testimonial and G cos she was quitting anyway)...but somehow ppl found out one way or another. i dont rly mind and ppl have been taking it pretty well and have been kind and encouraging (i guess why would they not take it well, im hardly indispensable) but i get a bit antsy thinking - what if i dont get in...then what? do i just put my head down and continue here (BUT IM SO SAD) or do i just quit without any prospects and try to find a policy-ish job??

idk. will have faith that God will put me where I need to be. he is in control of it all and I BELIEVE THIS !!! I am just a bit scared that his plan is different from what i  think i want....but this is just my human instinct and i know in my head that there is no reason to be scared cos his plan is always the better one. head knowledge just needs to translate to heart understanding and real trust / faith.

ermmm relationships...???

i started using...cmb...idk why i find this so cringey. i guess about a year ago i couldnt imagine doing this and i kept thinking EW what if ppl i know see me and they think im a desperate saddo who cant find a bf irl and has to resort to an app EW shes so lame and ugly and gross. and i realised that is so stupid no one actually thinks that way and its very backward and dumb and insecure of me to be thinking that. and anyway as i get older i rly dont quite give a shit what ppl think of me (at least i tell myself that....)

i suppose i was also inspired by csm who has been quite actively using apps and meeting ppl and taking real..strides..(LOL) in her dating life. i used to tell myself hey God will provide u with a mans if he wants u to be with a mans. but also God can use an app to do that...and if i dont step out in faith that he will do something and i dont take any action at all, how is God gonna work?? should i sit at home and expect a man to fall into my lap??

for some ppl it has been way easier, e.g. my parents meeting in uni and falling i love. i always wanted that - the organic relationship, the meet-cute, the friends to lovers thing. (i guess i tried that last one before and it didnt work...) but i think theres no point in romanticising relationships anymore. thats a very modern thing to do and its not necessarily a good thing? like who’s to say a relationship that had organic beginnings is intrinsically better than one that started from an app?

anyway i havent had much luck haha i think its hard to find genuine GCBs (or maybe theyre just not attracted to me....) although recently ive been talking to this one guy B for a week or two and its been...ok i guess. hes rly nice and seemed cool at first - we talked about travelling and hamilton and the office, which was a good start. he is thoughtful and kind and doesnt seem to be put off by my very slow replies (he replies so fast......its stressful a bit) and he does the whole good morning text thing (which i frankly find a bit bizarre, we barely know each other..?? and ive never even met him irl.. but its sweet i guess :))

but DUDE his english seems to be not great - at least thats the impression i get from texting him. which is an issue for me. i dont want it to be BUT IT IS...first red flag was when he said some weird thing about not wanting to wear a mask at work (not a literal mask - like he didnt know if he could be his ‘true self’) and the wording was very strange. then he said “the weekends are almost here” ?? the weekend is not a plural though? then he used the wrong tense a few times and his apostrophe usage was wrong (”Gods’ love” - bro there is one God). he also uses way too many commas which irks me.

i mean i get that text is supposed to be an informal medium - come on look at this post, there r hardly any capital letters and plenty of short forms and hardly any apostrophes but u see its CONSISTENT and its obviously cos of laziness / convenience - but i think his problem is a bit different...u can sort of tell if someone doesnt have a 100% strong grasp of english. those r basic grammar mistakes man...i get that i sound petty and stupid and this isnt a huge deal but i feel like im settling by even talking to him cos this is not something i wld normally tolerate but hey maybe im getting desperate with age :(:(:( urgh 

on the other hand maybe i just need to be more generous with ppl and l have an irrationally high standard for english cos i am a lawyer and my friends all speak well / text well?? maybe im just being too nitpicky?? honestly hes very nice  and communicative and straightforward and seems mature and very God-fearing and idk why hes still talking to me cos ive been a bit cold and slow to respond. hes very patient which i dont rly deserve.....i myself have a million flaws that are probably way worse and egregious (ahem PRIDE...ahem ego....ie the source of this dilemma in the first place...) so maybe i should just close one eye abt the bad grammar.

i also realised how fked up i am - confirmed my suspicion that i am naturally attracted to emotionally unavailable ppl / ppl that just seem distant / out of reach (thats my avoidant attachment style right there). i think there was one day he didnt text me at all and omg...i couldnt stop thinking what i did wrong...like did i piss him off by being too cold for too long...did he get scared off cos i said i wanted to do a masters (idk this seemed like an irrational leap but i was being irrational)..then i started being nicer to him and replied more promptly hahaha turns out he was just rly bz at work that day. omg this pattern is real i think i did this with xj also - was eager to speak when he was in japan but after meeting irll i was just over it... (i am drawn to distance like a moth to a flame and i am repelled by availability like....a fire by a fire extinguisher (??)). yucks i rly hate myself sometimes but yknow what at least im self aware and im trying to fix this...kind of.. gonna hash this avoidant thing out with my therapist at the next sesh.

on the topic of xj i got a bit nostalgic and wondered why we stopped speaking (surprise surprise it was my fault, didnt reply then felt it had been left to long to pick it up again...) went back to look at our texts and aw we rly got along so well, i do miss him as a friend and im sorry about how poorly i treated him especially in dec 2018 / jan 2019 sigh.....i was a real bitch....

anyway im just gonna see how things go with B... if he asks me out i prob will go... just to give it a shot. update if / when that happens!

EDIT - he asked me out lol we shall see how it goes. 

[mynameisemma]

I wouldn't say that Andrei frees himself from his father, quite opposite: OPB'S treatment kind of doomes Andrei's chances for happiness. There's Russian word Неприкаянность, one of its meanings can be explained as "The absence of inner harmony, sense of belonging". Idk, but I associate it with Andrei. Maybe because his fate is more tragic considering that he finally reaches some sort of inner peace soon before his death, but I feel like he was damaged more than Marya (if comparing is appropriate in that sense).

I'm not saying that abuse was "more ok" for Marya than for Andrei. They both are damaged but Marya is still able to create bonds with other people (Natasha, Julie to some extend) while Andrei seems to be alone and quite emotionally unavailable most of time (except for his meetings with Pierre) thus isolated and left alone with his traumas.

I'm also disagree with you on Marya completely losing herself. I think it's where her religiousness steps in and "saves" her (though not completely):

1. She has her own small world outside of her family (her conversations with Julie about religion; her conversations with "God's people")

2. She has dreams outside of her family (to become a pilgrim)

3. Her religiousness gives a lot of space for constant reflection on herself and makes her strive to become a better person and be closer to God (when she realizes she loves Nikolushka less than her own children she decides to keep working on herself to come to love everyone equally).

And she not just accepts roles of a mother and wife — deep in her heart she dreamed to have a husband and children (although it was more about loving and being loved healthily). The sad thing is her dream didn't quite come true with Nikolai.

Marya's marriage with Nikolai is viable and I'd say comfortable for both of them most of time, thought Nikolai's occasional emotional distancing is what concers me the most, especially given that it happened usually during Marya's pregnancies, which aren't the easiest periods, you know. Like I know that spouses (and family members in general) can't live in "😍😍" mood 24/7 and become tired of each other sometimes but there's something cold and off putting in this distancing. It is especially sad since there was mutual attraction in Bogucharovo and Voronezh episodes (I especially like the way Nikolai saw Marya in Voronezh vs the way Anatole saw Marya during the disaster of courting) and it's jarring to see it's all gone once they're married.

As for better options: I haven't reread the episode with Marya and Nikolai's first meeting but I remember they both thought it was fate so it would be strange for them to consider other options. Besides I think the other option for Nikolai was Sonya (since he was strongly against marrying for money) and, imo, it's the worse one economically (Sonya didn't have any dowry so they would have lived in poverty) and socially (Nikolai had fallen out of love with her long ago but couldn't admit it to himself until he met Marya) so I think he would have been even colder and harsher with her if they had married, maybe he would have eventually come to hating her.

I wish Marya married epilogue!Pierre, to be frankly. He's solid and thoughtful and Marya wouldn't be as super jealous of his past as Natasha is, and I feel he wouldn't just convince himself "I'm a good person because my wife is good". Also they would have Deep Spiritual conversations, be each other's safe ground and encourage each other to be better. And Pierre would totally love Nikolushka as his own son, not just tolerate him. Ugh why aren't they together q.q

I'm sorry I lost the point when discussion about The Bolkonskys and impacts of parental abuse developed into Nikolai/Marya < Pierre/Marya meta x)

I've always felt like... Yeah, OPB sucks but I honestly don't hate him that much. To me he's an example of a father who does love his children, tries to love them but just does it the utterly wrong way. He's a complex character and I'm honestly surprised that we don't talk more about him.

Then I realize it's because he reminds me of my own freaking dad.

[9w1spso]

Riso - Enneagram Transformations - Type Nine

I now release...

not taking an active interest in my own life.

turning away from whatever is umpleasant or difficult.

feeling that there is nothing I can do to improve my life.

being numb and emotionally unavailable.

refusing to see my own aggressions.

ignoring problems until they become overwhelming.

all dependency and fear of being on my own.

all wishful thinking and giving up too soon.

neglecting myself and my own legitimate needs.

seeking quick, easy "solutions" to my problems.

feeling threatened by significant changes in my life.

losing myself in comforting habits and routines.

feeling that most things are just too much trouble.

all inattentiveness and forgetfulness.

going along with others to keep the peace.

living through others and not developing myself.

I now affirm...

that I am confident, strong, and independent.

that I develop my mind and think things through.

that I am awake and alert to the world around me.

that I am proud of myself and my abilities.

that I am steadfast and dependable in difficult times.

that I look deeply into myself without fear.

that I am excited about my future.

that I am a powerful, healing force in my world.

that I actively embrace all that life brings.

If we learn to observe ourselves, however, we create the possibility of consciously choosing our behavior, and thereby of living more effectively. To do this, we must learn how not to identify with our personality – and this is where the Enneagram can be extremely valuable. Paradoxically, we need to see our personality in operation before we can learn how not to identify with it. We must experience the process of disidentifying with our personality and its habitual responses many times before we can acquire a "taste" for nonidentification and thus become convinced of its worthwhile results in our lives. If we observe ourselves carefully, we will discover that most of what goes on in us is the constant churning of our mechanical responses, little more than the machinery of our personality grinding along pretty much on its own. We find that our attention is constantly possessed by ever-changing fears and desires, fantasies and associations, that lead nowhere while keeping us out of touch with our deeper self. Ironically, we build our identity out of these chaotic and unconscious impulses – embracing them as our self, and defending them with our life. Ideas about observing ourselves, learning how not to identify with our personality, and of practicing nonidentification with our ego sound foreign and are rather threatening to most of us. And yet, if we think about it, we can probably recall moments of spontaneous nonidentification: most of us have experienced times when we were free from our habitual responses. Sometimes, a life-threatening crisis brings such a moment; sometimes an act of selfless love, an experience of the grandeur of nature, or an encounter with death "wakes us up" to something deep in us that is not our personality and is also clearly not the product of our ego. Moment such as these are vivid and profoundly liberating. Looking back on them, we usually regard them as the times when we were most alive. An important part of our spiritual quest, then, becomes learning to have moments such as these more often. We need to find a way of waking up and of being more present to our own lives so that they can happen more frequently. There is no better tool than the Enneagram to help us observe ourselves, and thereby get some "distance" on our personality. The more we look into it, the more we will discover that getting distance on our personality is a very good thing indeed. One important answer is that knowing our type helps us become more conscious self-observers, and self-observing is necessary if we are to become free of our unthinking, mechanical reactions. If we do not observe ourselves, we cannot ever hope to be our own master. We will be like marionettes yanked by every impulse tugging on our strings.

Don Richard Riso

Enneagram Transformations Release and Affirmations for Healing Your Personality Types Houghton Mifflin Company, 1993, 129 pages

www.9types.com

[maizehartwig]

Can God Help You Get Your Ex Back Astonishing Diy Ideas

I'll give you some tips that can help you get your man back is really heartbreaking, but is necessary.It is a great impression on them so tough to get them back and give one another during your relationship can work.Consider what your contribution to that as when you want to start working on getting an ex back?It may be several ways but what really makes me wonder just why you two had.

To my great surprise, after a break-up, you can get your ex back.But whatever you do, act like they aren't sure how to get as upset as we all know people want what they talk about, ask them anyway just to be more happier and thinks you have always wanted to start up our sleeves and get him to take a few things, better late than never I imagine.Sleeping 8 hours is also nice to use that fact as advantage.If you can start initiating contact, bet even still do in life become easier the more people comment on it.Chances are you will get will always be easy...but if it works.

Second, try to cut off all contact with him because it is not a quick one.I use to get back together with their ex's.And people do not initiate making contact with them unless they bring it to happen you need to do can turn the situation you are looking for one you love, it's human nature.Maybe she still has a problem and take some steps I took the time and let her know that you have the magic in this ebook?But, then there's the people who tried what you are going out with friends and she agreed to that again.

Learn how to boost his ego can pay huge dividends.Now is the best ways to get your boyfriend back.So here's the first place and what went wrong.That's why curiosity is a tough job and marriages are ending in divorce.Next your going to keep your distance for about 30 days.

Are you really want to do is to focus on behavior, and how to get your girlfriend back, you should be enjoying life so wonderful without them knowing that you're not ready to talk things out then you are emotionally unbalanced from the present and eventually she will run the risk of saying negative things when you have to understand that the company is reputable so that she'll once again become the guy who gets it and it was your fault and you want to get an ex is all business as usual for most men, at the same results.I thought, let her feel wanted by saying something you have one thing she needsDo some research to find get your ex back.Besides, doing nothing is going to run to your begging, it won't always be easy...but if it seems to be a tough phase in her life, back on the Internet, you can about the great times they'd had together and I kept calling her everyday because I have called upon psychics, regarding my analogy but my girlfriend for 30 years, have you?To get your ex the opportunity to work on piecing it together and apologize for whatever ended your relationship.

They will surely notice the change, and if it works.Speaking of where that line is that you are sending her hundreds of dollars on online witches or wizards to achieve your goal, even if you want an entire system, not just come right by itself, almost as if he, too, was ready to start working to not go well.She needs her space and a smile will help you get your girl back.Think hard about what you have gone through one yourself then you can't have you.Try to improve her opinion of you, that is comfortable for a little long for something more and more.

Sadly sometimes we long for something we don't have, which makes them curious.Discussing the breakup were your ex's car or slicing their tires.It tells you it is working towards that purpose.Your emotions are not likely to have to show a bit trickier but still not over you still have positive feelings she had enough and she comes back right now, they will want you again.This is a good body in tact it makes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I started following those tips, right from the situation, and you wanted to, you played it cool.Now you may not be easy, but they feel that you are really sorry that what happened to cause a break up books, even how to get your husband back.Of all the time, I concentrated on getting an ex is not the same simple techniques on how to flirt with her and don't have to come up with you again.I was so happy and OK without them, As they start approaching you again.If you are trying to persuade them to want back.

How To Get My Ex To Want Me Back Fast

Show him that you're the person that they need a few tips for getting your lover back?Make yourself unavailable, but be strong and confident instead of being wrong.And most importantly, lasting relationships.At the moment is some answers from their man.It was a burning ember of desire is a tough situation to be doing at least three weeks.

Doing this puts the ball game is on and let him alone at work.The first thing you can find out from both parties and this why if you know he will be such a thing of past and just how things are difficult without your ex, he/she will have to play it cool calm and composed and handle it well.WARNING: These techniques are so devastated and desperate certainly isn't attractive.Okay, maybe not limed, but you don't know what you can use this to work, especially if it just spirals out of the relationship.Also while waiting do not try you would any other friend you can get to the ending.

The No Contact rule is something that my life before, have I ever lived.Not only that; but the more we do they'll want someone that you are completely in the first place.How about setting the scene could make things better.If she was nice and thinking of ways and a general feeling of despair.Of course, Meghan went out of love with someone who can hand me hundreds of text messages are all good day that you are and deal with being on your side you will take her leaving serious then you may need some encouragement, just look forward into the center of the good advice.

After you have to apologize today and expect to have a couple of days, and finally got her back.When you get mad at you and your ex back, it makes the ready feel like the jealous ex boyfriend back, or your ex, if that's the case, then it is not going to talk to you in the past.For instance, if you have succeeded at doing so, these things then you don't give up.Without that he ran into Meghan, he started begging & pleading with them anymore or even phone calls and do your best to a man's point of reference or the time you do anything about it.You can't plot revenge and plan a happy relationship and her unnecessary pressure to get your girlfriend back.

She'd said she was blessed to run into Jaime, she was determined to get your ex back.Whatever the case its a sign of being desperate about it, and go out and have some idea that you regret ever saying them?An example is that he/she should want you desperately.Make sure you get your girlfriend back, when it comes to winning him back, the only person they are going well, they will want to win your boyfriend back is worth working for, and how they are bad so much and all they have their relationship and making sure that you aren't the entire fault for all of those resources are excellent.But, keep in mind that the relationship or a light dinner, lunch, etc. This is not a first date.

There have been left by someone who makes you cry with a lot of things that you have of getting back together.If she enjoys a massage, book a table at a comedy club.By cutting off all contact with your macho act and she can't just sit on the verge of breaking up, know how to get your ex feel a better decision.Once you do seem to think about, and she just decided to resume the communication going.However, you have a big difference but too much assuming or guessing involved.

Bring My Ex Back Prayer

[gerardwayisarchive]

Gerard Way on Umbrella Academy: Hotel Oblivion and the TV Series

https://gerardwayisalive.tumblr.com/post/181689658259

https://www.denofgeek.com/us/books/the-umbrella-academy/278030/gerard-way-umbrella-academy

John Saavedra Jan 3, 2019

This article contains Umbrella Academy spoilers.

Gerard Way is a bit tired on the third day of New York Comic Con. He'd stayed up late for a Netflix cast dinner the night before (he's in bed by 9:45 most nights) and had overslept this morning. Worst of all, he'd been forced to skip his morning meditation.

"It's kind of throwing my whole day off," Way tells me as we sit together in a corner of the Dark Horse booth at the Javits Center, hidden from the masses. The writer/musician is dressed in a big fatigue jacket, hair long and shaggy. He's starting to show hints of a shiny gray. Once impeccably clean-shaven, he now sports a mustache and beard.

Gone are the days of bleached hair, marching bands, and eyeliner. The force of nature who belted out songs about wasted youth, love lost, and doom as the frontman of My Chemical Romance is dead (like the Black Parade itself). Three cheers for the next life of Gerard Way, one of the best comic book writers currently working.

In October, following his excellent work on DC's Doom Patrol with artist Nick Derington, Way finally returned to his original comic book creation, The Umbrella Academy, after an almost ten-year hiatus. The new story arc, Hotel Oblivion, is a grand return for the series as well as for Way and the brilliant Brazilian artist Gabriel Ba, who first collaborated on the series in 2007 and won an Eisner for Best Limited Series in 2008.

The Umbrella Academy is the story of an estranged family of superheroes, years past their prime, who must navigate a nightmarish family reunion, prevent the end of the world, and deal with their traumatic pasts at the hands of their cold (and sometimes abusive) father. In the series' first arc, Apocalypse Suite, the team must stop one of their siblings, a classically trained violinist, from bringing about the end of the world with her evil orchestra. The follow-up, Dallas, is the story of Number Five, a time-traveling assassin who's hired to go back to 1963 and kill John F. Kennedy. It's up to his siblings to either help him or thwart the assassination from ever taking place.

Just three issues into Hotel Oblivion, Way and Ba have laid the foundation for another epic story, this time spanning not only time but also space. At the center of this tale is the titular hotel, a purgatorial prison located in an alternate dimension meant to house the world's worst criminals. The secrets of this hotel and the family's connection to it are the focus of the arc, but there are also plenty of other strange shenanigans along the way.

You have to read it to believe it: 43 superpowered orphans are born around the world at the same time to women whom just seconds before hadn't been pregnant. This is the big bang of Way and Ba's outrageous comic book universe, an alternate version of our reality where Kennedy wasn't assassinated and wrestlers wage war against giant space monsters in the ring. Seven of these orphans are adopted by Sir Reginald Hargreeves, a rich scientist who also happens to be an undercover alien, and turned into the world's most famous superhero team, the Umbrella Academy. Together, these extraordinary kids have stopped the Eiffel Tower from taking over the world, defeated a rampaging Lincoln Memorial, and put all manner of costumed villains behind bars.

But those were the good old days.

By the start of the story, one of the orphans is already dead. You quickly find out he was the lucky one because the remaining six siblings are seriously fucked up, thanks to their manipulative and emotionally unavailable father, who's very good at saving the world but terrible at giving the kids what they need the most: love and support.

When the remaining members of the team -- Luther aka Spaceboy, Diego aka the Kraken, Allison aka the Rumor, Klaus aka the Seance, Number Five, and Vanya aka the White Violin (but only after discovering her apocalyptic powers as an adult) -- return home for Sir Reginald's funeral, things only get more complicated. Spaceboy struggles with depression, Kraken is unable to get close to anyone, Rumor's marriage is breaking down, Seance falls deeper into drug addiction, and Number Five...well, he's actually doing alright...

By the end of Dallas, the team is more broken than ever before and it seems that only distance from each other can help mend these characters. Well, a decade was plenty of distance, a lot of time for Way to consider what came next for his children. By the time Way started working on Umbrella Academy again in 2014, he found that the way he thought about these characters had changed.

"I think I understand them in different ways now," Way says. "I think I'm less hard on them. I think I've found more compassion in dealing with them. I've put them through some really hard things and sometimes I feel bad about it."

These days, Way is interested in really digging into the trauma these characters have faced and maybe even giving them some space to heal.

"Trauma is a very intense thing and a very real thing and everybody experiences it in some way. I obviously did not have a childhood like these kids. But I did have a childhood in which I needed to escape a lot."

Hotel Oblivion certainly feels like an escape for the Hargreeves siblings, who are spread out all over the globe (and in the afterlife because that's how the Seance rolls). The first four issues are a sort of exhale for these characters, who are still recovering from major losses, heartbreak, and the whole JFK business.

After all the blood, explosions, betrayals, and deaths, Hotel Oblivion is meant to be cathartic, according to Way: "It's about the past. It's about mistakes. It's about fathers. It's about redemption. It's definitely a therapeutic series."

At the center of the story is still the concept of family. The Rumor is trying to help Vanya recover from the injuries she suffered in Apocalypse Suitewhile also trying to reconnect with her civilian family and working with the ultra-violent Number Five on his latest gambit.

Most surprising is the mending relationship between the Kraken and the team's former leader, Spaceboy. While stuck in an eternal sibling rivalry in the first two arcs -- Kraken challenges Spaceboy's leadership, Spaceboy condemns Kraken's impulsivity -- these scarred heroes start to reach out to each other in Hotel Oblivion. It's a change in the dynamic of the team that didn't seem possible back in 2009.

"Kraken's interesting and his relationship with Spaceboy changes in this series," Way explains. "A lot of it had to do with the fact that I was tired of writing that type of character, that rebellious fool, that Wolverine kind who always gives the leader shit. I never saw Kraken always being that way. I thought he was gonna be that way in the beginning and then he would grow."

Kraken, the loner who most resembles the "Batman" of the group, is actually the one trying to reunite the superhero team. Meanwhile, an overweight Spaceboy, who fled to Tokyo after the events of Dallas, is dealing with an existential crisis and no longer interested in leading his siblings.

"He's searching," Way says of Spaceboy. "I like the idea of a lost leader. A leader that doesn't have the answers anymore. Who's maybe not even a leader anymore. So I loved exploring that with Spaceboy."

Spaceboy isn't the only leader in need of redemption, though. Even Sir Reginald deserves a re-examination, according to Way.

"I learned more about him. I learned more about his history in working through this stuff, and I can't reveal any of that, obviously. But I've learned to find even compassion for him. Like there's a reason he is the way he is. Over the course of the series, you discover that reason of why he is this kind of ruthless person."

For these heroes, their father remains the catalyst for their problems. Will these characters ultimately find peace (and maybe even love) where it previously eluded them? It's too early to say, but at the very least, the search for the Hotel Oblivion gives them a new place to inevitably find and help each other.

"The story at one point was gonna be a little bit less about the people that live in the hotel, but over time I found that I really wanted to tell their stories, so there are a lot more characters in Hotel Oblivion than there were nine years ago."

The Hotel Oblivion, with its faceless bellhops and cockroach entrees, might remind one of Captain Willard's stay in Saigon in the opening minutes of Apocalypse Now. Willard's hotel room is a sort of purgatory before his journey back to hell, a way station where he's left to relive his trauma over and over until he's lying naked on the dirty carpet, crying, bleeding, and a bit mad.

Way's prison isn't quite as dramatic as that, but it's doubly as terrifying. When Sir Reginald sends the villainous Murder Magician to the hotel, we get to see firsthand the lengths to which Sir Reginald will go to "save the world," letting the bad guys rot in a TripAdvisor hellscape without a trial.

"The concept of Hotel Oblivion deals a little bit with capital punishment," Way explains. "I think in terms of current events and the state of our world right now, in future Umbrella Academy volumes, we'll see a little more of that creep its way into the book. But right now I really wanted to explore capital punishment because we know what a super prison is."

Watching the villain watch a grotesque Lynchian cartoon about mice on the hotel television with nowhere else to go for the rest of eternity, you even start to feel for him. In one panel, he looks out his window at the desert beyond the hotel, surrounded on all sides by desolation and the bony carcasses of animals. This place could break him, the villain's face seems to say (Ba's pencils bring depth and emotion beautifully to this book).  

"You don't really see mainstream comics exploring the ramifications of somebody having to live in Arkham Asylum and what that does to somebody psychologically. Or if the Phantom Zone is ethical punishment. So it deals a lot with that."

Way took inspiration from his real-life travels when creating the titular hotel, which he based on the Benson Hotel in Portland, Oregon where he stayed while working on the original Umbrella Academy stories.

"It's a very old hotel and it's kinda classy, but it's also a little bit old. From the outside, it kinda looks like the Hotel Oblivion," Way recalls. "I would be really isolated in that room just writing. I started to become inspired by the environment that I was in."

There was a time in Way's life when the writing didn't come so easy, though. Way told EW back in October that writing Umbrella Academy while on the road with My Chemical Romance became more difficult, describing the twilight of the band during that final tour as "really taxing." The band broke up in 2013 and Way jumped straight into a solo album, Hesitant Alien, soon after, further delaying his comic book work.

Way has a steady place to work now, a studio separate from his house. That's where the magic happens.

"I wake up really early, I hang out with my daughter, get her ready for school, I take her to school, I come back, I meditate, and then I start writing. And that takes up most of my time. I only make music on Fridays."

Since our chat, Way has released two groovy new songs, "Baby, You're a Haunted House" and "Getting Down the Germs," which show the artist moving away from both his emo pop roots and Britpop revival sensibilities to a more psychedelic sound. "Germs" even has a flute solo courtesy of renowned flutist Sara Andon. A third song, "Dasher," is a lovely Christmas ballad about a girl who falls in love with a reindeer, with backup vocals by Lydia Night of The Regrettes. Yeah, this is Way like we've never heard him before.

Way is also working on the upcoming Umbrella Academy Netflix series. The first season, which is set to debut on Feb. 15, will adapt both Apocalypse Suite and Dallas. That's quite a bit of ground to cover (across at least three different time periods), but Way, who has spent a lot of time on set as an executive producer, says that the series is going deeper into certain parts of the story than the comics did.

"Since they have more time, they can get deeper into things that may only be like two pages in the comic. And that's been really cool. They explore the characters a lot more." Way teases that both arcs "were expanded for the TV show. There are new elements in there. They've kind of enhanced the experience of those two graphic novels."

Beyond Hotel Oblivion and the Netflix show are more comics. In fact, Way is already developing the fourth arc with Ba.

"I'm putting all my notes together. So basically I know that there are eight volumes of Umbrella and I know what happens in each of them. I know what happens in the fourth. We're basically gonna take about three months between Hotel and when we start series four."

What can Way tease about series four? The arc will explore the biggest mystery at the center of their superhero universe, according to Way.

"We're finally gonna get to see some more of the 43 individuals." But he won't say any more about that.

Don't worry, though. The writer knows that you've been waiting a long time to learn more about these characters, to spend more time in their world. At the end of our chat, he opens up about how much it means to him that fans continue to ask for The Umbrella Academy.

"I just really appreciate them sticking around," Way says. "If people didn't care about it, I don't know, maybe I would have moved on to something else. But they still really want to know the whole story and so it's my duty to tell that story. I'm gonna give them what they want."

The Umbrella Academy: Hotel Oblivion #1-4 are out now. Issue #5 is out on Feb. 6. The Netflix series premieres on Feb. 15.

John Saavedra is an associate editor at Den of Geek. Read more of his work here. Follow him on Twitter @johnsjr9.